Psychologist Svetlana Zbrodina told what mistakes women make in marriage
When entering into marriage, everyone wants "happily ever after," but divorce statistics show that not everyone succeeds.
Psychologist Svetlana Zbrodina told what mistakes women make in marriage.
Of course, both spouses are responsible for divorce. Today, let's look at what mistakes a woman makes that can lead to a family breakup.
1. A mommy wife - such a woman will be overprotective and caring. It would seem, what's wrong with that? The bad thing is that there is so much of this care that there is nowhere for a man to appear.
Besides, "mommy" knows better what her man needs, does not listen to objections, is not interested in opinions. In response, she always expects gratitude, if she does not receive it, she makes claims: "I do everything for you, and you ...", "I dedicated my whole life to you", "I spent my best years on you".
And "mommy" also controls! She calls, writes, comes to the office, accompanies you to the corporate party. Right down to looking at your phone, checking your correspondence and social networks.
The result: the man either leaves, defending his right to life, or becomes an infantile boy.
2. "You owe me" - a wife with such a life position sets a number of demands and monitors their fulfillment. Favorite phrase "you are a man, you must", then on the list - to provide, to be strong, successful, in a good mood, etc.
A man's failures are disappointing, emotions and desires are not taken into account. The result: a man lives under "pressure", in constant tension, which negatively affects both his health and quality of life.
3. "I can do it myself" - a wife with such a life principle can do everything herself - earn money, build a house, and fix a faucet. "Rather than ask and wait, it's better to do it yourself." This is a competing position, consciously or unconsciously the wife demonstrates to her husband that she is better and more successful.
Result: the husband does not feel needed, valuable, capable, which leads either to constant conflicts, proofs of "I can do it too", or the husband loses motivation to do something for the family, becomes a "couch potato" or goes into addiction - alcohol, computer games.
All of these behavior patterns originate in childhood. The girls saw this in their parental families and carried it over into their own. However, what may have worked in the relationship between mom and dad will not always be relevant for the relationship in a new family.
It is important to see your pattern, acknowledge the consequences it leads to, and change it. The process of change will take time and mental strength, but the result - a happy family life is worth it.
