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Romances at work. What is the danger, explains Pavel Rakov
18.02.2023 19:47
Updated: 14.04.2023 03:01
Today, when street dating has practically disappeared as a class, and dating sites bring, rather, disappointment, the question arises: where to look for your other half? And many immediately answer: "At work!" Well, the advice is really good, and most importantly, doable.
However, office romances are not always beneficial for professional activity and health. What is the reason? In the seven dangers that lurk behind such a relationship.
Let's look at them together with our expert Pavel Rakov - a psychologist, coach and creator of the cult training "In fact, I'm smart, but I live like a fool."
1. Decreased performance
Indeed, the efficiency and productivity of a person in love significantly decreases. After all, you want to constantly think about a date, experience the emotions of the meeting again and again, call and write to your other half, finding out how the day is going. Now imagine that Romeo and Juliet, young or not so, work in the same team.
Inevitably, they will want to see each other a little more often than before. And, of course, their conversations during working hours will clearly not be about projects, accounting and depreciation. One way or another, this is minus time for pumping up professional activity, a loss for the company and... gossip. And sooner or later they will reach the ears of the management.
2. Threat of dismissal
As soon as the boss finds out about a romance at work, he will definitely give the first Chinese warning to the couple. Rarely will the management tolerate such a thing. Statistics show that more than 80% of companies around the world are against office romances. And all because of the decrease in the productivity of subordinates. But that's not all.
Not all relationships stand the test of time and one office. After a breakup, one of the couple (but sometimes both) will definitely change jobs, which is also not very advantageous for a competent boss. After all, it is necessary to find staff, train them, and bring them up to speed. In general, it is easier to include a clause in the contract prohibiting love, which is what some companies do.
3. Gossip of colleagues
No matter how the couple hides their budding relationship, nosy colleagues will always find out about it. Romantic and tender glances during a break or when discussing a project cannot be hidden anyway. Sooner or later, everyone will find out about the office romance, including the cleaning lady who comes in the evening.
Lovers will definitely be washed all the bones, adding a little of their own vision of the situation. This is how the reputation of a strong professional, built up over the years, often collapses. In addition, some of the colleagues' fantasies reach the management, and there point 2 comes into play. Believe me, no one will keep your secret. It will be quietly revealed if this helps to remove you from your position.
4. Selfish motives
Don't forget that all people are different, and among them there are manipulators. Those who calmly evoke high feelings, but do not experience them themselves. Simply put, if you suddenly fell in love with a colleague who is under your command, think about it! Is he or she playing unfairly?
After all, the motives for love can be very different. Some are attracted by the character and actions of their partner, while others are attracted by money, status, and everything that this can give in the future. Many men and women have used office romance to advance their careers.
5. Loss of reputation
Unfortunately, a relationship that arises at work is not always a plus for the couple. Gossip from colleagues can damage professional reputations and can spread further - to competing and partner companies. So it is not surprising that some business negotiations end in failure. But it is even worse when passion flares up between family people.
The history of office romances knows examples when spouses found out about lovers and came to sort things out. It's good if it was with the cheater himself and his passion. But many went straight to the management.
6. Stormy showdowns and revenge
It is difficult to imagine partners who have never quarreled or taken offense at each other. Sooner or later, the stage of adjustment and sorting out the relationship begins. Some people act smartly and do not take it outside the home, but an office romance is a special case.
Here, conflicts most often arise precisely at the workplace. And if both do not hold back their emotions, then the entire team watches the lovers' showdown. And here, no matter how you hide it, rumors about the newly-made couple will definitely reach the management. And if they break up, the threat of revenge will definitely arise.
Moreover, everyone has very personal information that can be easily put into action. It is enough to involve the right colleagues, and the information that he or she shifted their work duties to others or had sex in the office will definitely reach the boss's ears.
7. Change of job
Statistics say that only 2 out of 10 office romances end in either a peaceful breakup or marriage. But the remaining 8 couples most often break up with difficulty, with pain, tears and hysterics. And how then to look at the one who was so dear every day? And how to communicate with colleagues who verbally or silently express sympathy? How to restore the lost reputation of a professional?
Therefore, sooner or later, one of the former lovers will definitely change jobs, which is associated with temporary financial losses, to which mental suffering is added. So think in advance, are you ready for such a turn of fate in the event of the end of an office romance? If not, then maybe it is worth stopping at the very beginning, while nothing is lost?
