How to say no to children correctly and ecologically
Often parents have to deal with the varied desires of their children.
These can be both cheap little things and expensive things.
These may also be requests that cannot be fulfilled in any way or that pose a threat to the child.
We, parents, are not always ready or willing to buy or do something, but refusal can lead to hysterics, says Ksenia Matura .
Let's figure out how to refuse children correctly and ecologically
1. The most important thing is to let your child know that you hear him and respect his choice (even if, in your opinion, it is complete nonsense).
Don't underestimate your child's choice, as this can lead to financial blockages and self-doubt later on. Give a positive assessment of his choice: "Listen, how cool! You have good taste.
A very interesting thing/business/hobby." In this way, you show the child that you respect his choice and that it is correct. Do not devalue the child's choice by saying phrases like: "It's expensive!", "It's nonsense!", "It's stupid to do this", etc.
2. Next comes the wish. And here too there can be both a correct strategy and an incorrect one.
Unsuitable options: "Let's buy this or that instead." And you offer options that you consider cheaper and more suitable.
Remember your state when you buy something you really like. It is satisfaction, delight and joy.
And also remember your feelings when you buy not what you want, but what is cheaper. There is no joy and satisfaction, as in the first case.
The same with a child. The correct answer would be: "I would like you to have this. I want you to have the best!"
3. The next step is the refusal itself. Variations of the "correct" refusal: "Unfortunately, I can't buy this now."
It is important to emphasize the time constraints, and not to discourage the child from wanting anything and asking you for it. "It's a pity, but we can't buy you that this time."
4. Offer an alternative. “If you want, I can buy you this now. Or I can buy you what you want, but later. After I save up (we save up together) the necessary amount.”
In the end, you appreciated the child's choice, said that he has excellent taste. Then you expressed the wish that you want him to have the best of everything. Then you correctly refused him and offered an alternative purchase option.
In this way, you kind of refused the child, but you also didn’t instill in him the idea that his destiny is something cheap and of poor quality.
A little life hack for going to the store with small children - let them choose two toys (goods) from what you offer. Up to 2-3 years old, a slightly different principle applies - both hands should be busy, so as not to grab all the brightest and most attractive things from the shelves.
The same algorithm can be applied to any other request from a child, the main thing is to understand the principle of formulating refusals.
Believe me, children, even small ones, understand everything and you can come to an agreement with them. The main thing is to be confident in yourself and talk to the child kindly, calmly, without shouting, accusations and devaluation.
Earlier we talked about how to understand that a teenager is lying .
