What is self-esteem and how does it affect the formation of a person's personality
Self-esteem as an important component of personal and psychological health begins to form from the earliest childhood years. It is a combined perception and assessment of one's own value and significance.
This is the understanding that children and adolescents have about themselves, about how capable they are, how worthy of love and respect they are. This then influences the formation of self-reliance!
Self-esteem is closely related to the concept of self-worth. Self-worth is the belief in one's abilities and value. Believing in oneself, a child strives for growth, learning and self-improvement. With positive self-worth, he experiences failures as temporary difficulties, despite them, he continues to move forward, says Relief therapist, transpersonal psychologist Nadezhda Narutovich .
Self-esteem is formed in the process of interaction with others, primarily with parents. They play a key role in the formation of self-esteem of children and adolescents. From the point of view of transactional analysis developed by Eric Berne, the interaction between parents and children can be divided into three states of the "I": parental, adult and child.
Parents as the first and main "players" influence what the "I" states will be and how the self-esteem of children will be formed. Negative and critical parental feedback can affect the formation of negative self-esteem, while positive feedback and support contribute to the development of healthy self-esteem.
Ways to Develop Healthy Self-Esteem in Children and Teens
An important role in developing healthy self-esteem is to create an environment in which children can develop and reach their potential. Here are some techniques and practices that can help in this process.
- Emotional communication. Open, supportive communication with your child allows him to feel that his opinion is important and that his feelings are noticed by his loved ones. This helps to develop self-confidence.
- Positive feedback. Support and encouragement are considered important elements of education. Parents should focus on the efforts and achievements of children, and not only on mistakes.
- Modeling Healthy Self-Esteem. Parents can set a role model for their children by expressing confidence in themselves and their own worth. This role model will help children develop positive self-esteem.
- Respect for individuality. It is important to take into account the individual characteristics of each child and allow them to develop in accordance with their own interests and inclinations. Do not demand too much from the child, aligning yourself with your own skills and needs.
- It's okay to make mistakes. It's important to teach your child to view failures as opportunities to learn and grow, not as confirmation of low value.
- NLP and coaching. Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and coaching techniques can help develop confidence and enhance self-esteem in children and adolescents. These methods pay attention to internal beliefs and help reprogram them in a positive direction. I would like to suggest one very simple and effective technique. "Success Journal". Help your child start a journal in which he independently writes 7-10 points every evening, for what he praises himself for today. Help your child analyze his notes.
Together, discuss what this success reveals about him. Encourage him to view his qualities and abilities through the lens of these accomplishments.
It is important to note that the mistake of parents lies not only in excessive strictness, but also in the opposite: attempts to “please” children.
This can lead to the development of an unhealthy self-esteem, where the child feels valuable only when he or she meets the expectations of the parents. In this case, even successes can leave a void, since they are not based on one’s own efforts and aspirations.
Raising children with healthy self-esteem is a balance between support, positive feedback, and creating conditions for independent growth and development.
Understanding how parents influence self-esteem and learning how to use techniques to help develop it will help children become confident and successful adults.
