A psychologist has listed 8 signs of an adult who lacked parental attention as a child
Childhood is the most important stage in human development. It does not always go smoothly and, as a result, leaves a negative imprint on future life. A common mistake on the part of parents is emotional neglect.
How psychologist Stanislav Sambursky wants to tell readers of the online publication Belnovosti about him in more detail.
It is important to clarify: emotional neglect occurs as a result of a lack of parental love, affection and ignoring the child's signals for help.
In maturity, a person will take a position of being disadvantaged, will be withdrawn and unsure of himself.
Now let's take a closer look at the 8 signs of an adult who lacked parental attention as a child.
1. When parents ignore a child's requests for help, the child comes to the understanding that he must do everything in this life himself. Asking for help is pointless and fraught with refusal. It is better to do everything yourself than to be disappointed in people again. In parallel with this, there is a desire to selflessly help others. A person is familiar with the feeling of hopelessness, so he zealously goes to help. The situation is as follows: he solves his problems alone, while selflessly spending energy on solving others.
2. Low self-esteem and chronic self-doubt give rise to thoughts about one's own imperfection. A person constantly experiences anxiety, the source of which is inexplicable. At the same time, people around seem ideal: from physical characteristics to the ability to live. Such a contrast in worldview interferes and makes one wonder: "What should I do to become better?" There is an understanding of the problem, but how to solve it is unknown. Therefore, the fear that people will never love me takes root.
3. Withdrawal and fear of appearing ridiculous lead to constant stress. Attempts to express feelings and emotions are frightening. The most important sign of neglect and indifference in childhood is doubts about one's own actions when it is impossible to criticize other people.
4. It is difficult to have adequate self-esteem, love and value yourself in adulthood when no one told you about your positive qualities in childhood. A person simply does not know about them or does not consider them as such. A wonderful child will grow up to be a wonderful adult. When parents do not characterize their child in a positive way, then in the future he will never know what he is. This will be a person with low self-esteem, whose life will turn into constant attempts at self-improvement.
5. Particular difficulties arise in moments of criticism and refusal. Even constructive criticism puts one in a position of humiliation and insult. The words of another person demanding a little correction in one way or another, instantly give rise to thoughts about the catastrophic nature of the situation, that everything is very bad. Having heard a refusal, a person immediately feels bad and unworthy.
6. Loneliness acts as a life preserver. Low self-esteem gives rise to thoughts about one's own imperfection. Being alone means losing a source of comparison and there is no need to fear criticism and rejection. Avoiding contacts minimizes the risks of emotional overstrain.
7. The unhappiness of a person who was emotionally neglected as a child is obvious, but not to him. He realizes that something is wrong with him, tries to find the truth, but does not find it. It seems that it is on the surface, you just need to figure it out, but depression and anxiety do not allow this. Against this background, difficulties only multiply.
8. Such people are tormented by guilt, because, in their opinion, they themselves are to blame for everything. Failures in life are the result of wrong actions. If you fail to achieve your goal, it is all due to mistakes made earlier. At the same time, they ignore the influence of external factors. Excessive strictness towards yourself only hinders.
