What phrases should you say to your children more often?
Raising children is a very responsible process, and it cannot be neglected. Children perceive the world through what they see and hear, as well as from the behavioral examples of other children and adults, and the most frequent and long-term example of relationships is shown by parents (in the family).
Children are also brought up through communication, they are receptive to what they hear. And the more receptive they are, the more authority the person who formed and expressed the thought, demand or approval has for them.
Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov believes that there are several well-known (in general) strategies for raising children, practiced by modern parents depending on living conditions, locality, financial status and character traits.
For example, there is a relatively strict style, when a child (even today) is limited in communication (not only on the Internet - what else could be understood) and is literally punished with a belt (battery) with the justification that this is what "Churchill's grandfather did in 1918". And there is an encouraging style, when they praise for the slightest success and motivate in various ways to further success. Both styles (among others) have their own characteristics, advantages and disadvantages.
Let's talk about the encouraging style. Since a healthy child perceives your speech and voice, words can be used to influence children successfully. The main condition of this method is unbroken trust between you and the child, and, accordingly, the secondary condition is your authority.
Remember M. A. Bulgakov: "You should never "thrash" anyone, you can only influence a person or an animal by suggestion" (Professor Preobrazhensky). Even a horse understands when you say "Ay-bravo!"
So, what phrases can be used to encourage children to develop harmoniously?
“The most extraordinary”, variants “my excellent student”, “my pride” – phrases should be timely and confirmed by extraordinary successes in his work.
"The most beloved", variant "the most desired". Words should be confirmed, and not diverge from deeds.
"Well done." Variant: "You're making progress." Universal phrases for evaluating work done or an action.
I'm interested in you. A phrase for children aged 6-10, when the child's vector of learning moves from a playful form to an educational (knowledge-based) one.
"Most Attentive" is a rewarding phrase for attention to detail, confirmed by results, and for developing planning skills.
"Princess" (alternatively "my princess") is a phrase for girls that increases self-awareness.
And many others. It is very reasonable to study the child's favorite heroes - from books, cartoons, theatrical productions. By choosing heroes, the child associates himself with them. Someone likes a giraffe, someone likes a hedgehog, someone likes a raccoon. By choosing this model, the child tries to be like the conventional idol, follows his history. Here, parental participation can help the preschooler with comparative phrases about how the giraffe or raccoon is very happy to have a friend like you.
Examples like these can help to relieve (reduce) a child's anxiety about the challenges of this world and encourage him to make even greater progress. Anxiety is common to all children in preschool age and even later.
There are opponents of the proposed style, who fear that this way the child can be overpraised and get the opposite result in the form of the beginnings of sociopathy or narcissism. It is difficult to object to this in a theoretical sense, because there are many details and factors in a specific situation.
It is impossible to overpraise. But it is important to pay attention to the generally known difference in educational methods, conventionally traditional in our country and in Europe.
Without speaking about the peculiarities of the educational path and route, as well as the assessment of students, it is appropriate to recall that in the post-Soviet space, in principle, it is not customary to praise both children and adults. But scolding is welcome. Therefore, both children and adults live "with few smiles."
In this parenting style, parents are simply not taught to praise their children. And since they themselves were not praised, parents also perceive this as the norm. This is bad.
Compared to some other countries, children are praised, and adults too, and at the same time the world does not collapse, and children grow up free and with the consciousness of their complete security in a community of the same as them. These conclusions are not without controversy, but we are not deprived of the opportunity to suggest thinking about them.
