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Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences Irina Yemelyanova explained why children quarrel
29.03.2023 21:43
Updated: 14.04.2023 23:40
Conflicts in a general education organization are a natural phenomenon; they are inevitable, as 77% of teachers believe.
Irina Yemelyanova, candidate of pedagogical sciences, associate professor, head of the department of theory and methodology of educational activities at Synergy University, explained why children quarrel.
Schoolchildren enter into conflicts not only with their peers and classmates, but also with older students and teachers.
What causes conflicts among schoolchildren and why do children quarrel?
Among the various reasons, teachers, for example, of primary general education, note that children who cannot cope with the academic workload behave more conflictually compared to successful peers.
Such children strive for leadership, react with negativity and aggression to any learning difficulties, resist the teacher’s demands, or refuse to complete tasks in which they may discover their incompetence.
The underlying negative emotions that arise in them are a conflict between inflated academic expectations and lack of self-confidence.
The consequences of such a conflict lead not only to a decrease in academic performance, but also to a deterioration in health against the background of clear signs of school maladjustment.
Absolutely all children can conflict and quarrel, but the most aggressive and unrestrained behavior is exhibited by those schoolchildren who claim a certain role or status among their peers; it is extremely important for them to be the center of attention.
Their social aspirations turn out to be more inflated and contradictory to the real situation.
Children who find themselves in constant conflict with their peers were called "affective" by the scientist Lidiya Ilyinichna Bozhovich. To compensate for their poor situation, they attract attention to themselves, gain sympathy and, thus, realize the need for recognition and increase their self-esteem.
For such children, the strict framework of school requirements turns out to be too narrow for the manifestation of their individual psychological characteristics.
Conflicts can also arise due to children's inability to negotiate with each other and adequately express their thoughts, feelings and emotions, i.e. due to communicative illiteracy, which appears due to the lack of necessary communication skills, inability to interact in complex interpersonal situations (for example, in the process of teamwork), as well as due to a low level of empathy. All this leads to disappointment and aggression.
Conflict is not a typical and stable personality trait for younger schoolchildren, with the exception of particularly aggressive children.
The research results show that the majority of conflicts arise in the dyads “Student - Student” (47.3%), “Teacher - Student” (21.6%), “Student - Classroom” (15.8%), “Student - Parent” (15.3%).
How should parents and teachers behave in such situations?
In resolving relations between participants in a school conflict, an adult can adopt one of the following behavior models: an outside observer, an arbitrator, or a mediator.
The conflict resolution strategies in these models are as follows: for non-intervention - “lose-lose”, for arbitration - “win-lose”, for mediation - “win-win”.
Therefore, the most optimal position is that of an adult as a mediator. The word mediation comes from the Latin mediare – to reconcile. A parent or teacher in the role of a mediator has an active positive influence on the negotiation process, takes into account and reconciles the interests and needs of both parties to the conflict.
Having adopted the position of a mediator, an adult needs to remember the following principles of negotiations:
- voluntariness,
- confidentiality,
- cooperation and equality of the parties,
- impartiality and independence of the mediator.
If a child gets the feeling that his opinion is respected, that no one is trying to pressure or reproach him, and this is exactly how negotiations with an adult in the position of a mediator should be structured, then the student will be able to openly discuss the reasons for the conflict and options for resolving the current situation.
In a modern school, a teacher constantly takes the position of an informal mediator when implementing the functions of a class teacher, therefore, for the successful and effective implementation of educational work, it is important for him to possess mediation competence, which is the readiness and ability to act as an intermediary (mediator) in the negotiation process when resolving conflicts between participants in educational relations.
Currently, in most cities of our country, schoolchildren become mediators, carrying out this activity in the “School Reconciliation Service”.
This is a student self-government body that carries out a mediating function in the school. The main goal of creating a reconciliation service is to reduce the level of conflict in the school and develop civilized, non-violent forms of resolving them.
Thus, school conflicts are an inevitable phenomenon and in order to prevent such situations from having a psychological impact on the future life of children, teachers and parents need to acquire mediation competence skills to resolve them.
