Narcissists are a complex group of people. They live for attention to themselves. Depriving them of such nourishment means knocking them off their pedestal.
The situation is even more complicated when the narcissists are family members or co-workers. Then you can't just look through the person.
On top of that, the thirst for power and attention deprives them of peace of mind. And here, knowing their “pain points” can change the situation in a positive direction, notes psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
To begin with, it is important to clarify that narcissists are divided into two types: people who have narcissistic personality traits, and those who actually have narcissistic personality disorder.
It is worth noting that in the modern world this disease is becoming more common and is classified into:
- grandiose narcissists - aggressive and dangerous;
- vulnerable – have low self-esteem and a tendency to be a victim of the situation.
1. Playing "I don't believe you"
Narcissists love to dazzle and captivate the public. They use verbal tricks to gain admiration. Belief in superiority and infallibility is what they need.
It is worth saying at least once: "You tell a good story, but I don't believe that you did it yourself. Provide evidence," and the result will not take long to come. Argument and another point of view are also good methods of influence. Only they must be used carefully, especially with "grandiose" narcissists.
2. Turn towards self-analysis
Narcissists are "perfectly strong". In order to remain so, they arm themselves with numerous defensive techniques. Introspection and reflection only hinder this. After all, looking inside oneself means seeing a weak and insecure personality again. They become extremely vulnerable when they hear something like: "Tell me, why do you act this way? What are you guided by?"
3. “No” and lack of support
In any group, the narcissist is the star. Self-affirmation occurs through excessive lies and pretentious behavior. The latter must necessarily be supported by the consent of others.
When confronting such a personality, the word “no” or ignoring become ideal levers of influence and the beginning of establishing boundaries.
4. Tell the truth in the face of their inability to feel vulnerable
Self-esteem is a weak point of a narcissist, as it is always low. It is this that provokes the construction of a barrier with the outside world in the form of defense mechanisms. Under the created armor, he is more or less comfortable. Understanding his own vulnerability, although far away, is always present. He will not tolerate a hint from others on this matter. Showing pity for a narcissist and giving him truthful feedback means forcing him to look in the mirror without embellishment.
5. Remind about loneliness
There is nothing more frightening for a narcissist than being left alone. Having lost one victim, he begins to look for a new one. This is a predator who, without prey, will remain hungry, i.e. lonely.
Living with such individuals under one roof is difficult. When there is no possibility to move, knowledge of their pain points comes to the rescue. An effective tactic is to directly say that all actions have consequences and that in this case the result will be suffocating loneliness.
