They say “I’m not ready”, they drag out time for years, but the reason is not you.
And not even out of fear of commitment, as is commonly believed.
Deeper and deeper. Men's fear of marriage is a puzzle of stereotypes, personal experiences and... other people's experiences. But let's take things in order.
First, let's dispel a myth: it's not that men "don't love." Often, they're afraid of losing themselves.
The image of a "family man" in culture is still associated with the rejection of freedom, hobbies, even dreams. A man imagines his life narrowing down to work and a couch, and society reinforces this: "married means under the thumb."
Another factor is the pressure of the "role". Expecting him to be a breadwinner, an ideal father and a romantic at the same time is unrealistic. The fear of not living up to these expectations does not contribute to a man's desire to get married.
Examples from the past cannot be ignored either. If a father, grandfather or friends got divorced, the subconscious gets reinforced with the idea: "Marriage is painful."
Even if a man wants a family, he unconsciously sabotages the relationship to avoid potential problems.
Add to this the fear of making a mistake: “What if I chose the wrong person?” Marriage seems like an irreversible step, although divorce statistics prove the opposite.
But there is good news. To stop a man from being afraid, you need to show him that marriage is not a cage, but a space for growth.
Talk about plans that include his interests. Show that you are an ally, not a controller.
And give it time. Sometimes "fear" is just a lack of experience to believe that together can be better than alone.
