Every man strives to be successful in everything: work, relationships and hobbies.
However, the understanding that fatherhood is a serious responsibility and a complex process in which it is impossible to plan everything in advance causes anxiety and fear in many representatives of the stronger sex.
Fear of failure and concerns about the future cause men to feel anxious, denial, and aversion to the idea of having children.
We suggest looking into the problem to find out the underlying reasons for this attitude.
Fear of having to say goodbye to romance and passion
With the arrival of a child in the house, there are sleepless nights, mountains of dirty diapers and hours of feeding the baby. The baby requires constant attention, usually from the mother. Romantic evenings by candlelight fade into the background, and passionate nights can only be dreamed of - sleep is the priority for new parents. Getting used to a new way of life is not easy, and at first it seems that it will always be like this and you can forget about your wife in silk underwear and lace stockings.
What to do? Remember that everything in life is temporary, which means that this period will also end someday. Children, no matter how trite it may sound, grow up quickly. To free up an hour or two for yourself, you can use the services of a nanny or turn to grandmothers.
Life will indeed never be the same again, but this does not mean that it will become boring and monotonous.
Fear of not being able to provide for the family
Friends and colleagues from the man's circle constantly discuss the expenses for children: strollers, car seats, clothes for holidays. Considering the wife's maternity leave, all financial obligations fall on the man's shoulders. No one will argue that with the appearance of children, family expenses increase significantly.
If this is the only reason that stops a man from trying on the role of a father, offer him a plan for optimizing funds, consisting of two columns: in one, list the current expenses, and in the second - in case a baby appears in the family. Explain that while on maternity leave, you will not have to go to work, spend money on lunches, buy clothes, etc. And remind him that this state of affairs is temporary.
Fear of losing freedom
It doesn't matter whether a man is married or not - he will always value his freedom. Having a child means that he will have to neglect his own desires more often in favor of his family.
Try to convey to your partner that having a baby is not the same as giving up on your desires. You may have to compromise more often and it will be harder to meet your needs, but it will still be possible.
