Attachment Types - What They Are and How They Affect Relationships

Almost all of our relationships are based on the emotional component.

If you start searching for attachment types on the Internet, the Network will give you several options: reliable, anxious, avoidant.

We can talk about each of them for a long time. Even each of them can be combined, for example, anxious-avoidant, here is another type, says Fedusenko Daria .

But sometimes it is so hard for the reader to perceive. Therefore, over many years of working with women, men and married couples, a psychologist can identify 2 types of attachment - healthy attachment and dependently sick attachment.

Healthy attachment = healthy relationship.

This is when people have already gone through a certain experience in relationships, when they have learned to talk to each other and hear each other. When everyone clearly knows their boundaries, knows what they want from life.

When a man and a woman are busy with their own affairs, hobbies, interests, when they both live a bright and rich life, perhaps with some difficulties. But at this moment they do not "nag each other's brains", but support each other, respect and appreciate.

When a woman is not worried if a man goes out with friends alone. After all, a self-confident woman would not even allow such a thought. She simply has no time for it. The same can be said about men. And such relationships are doomed to success!

But don't think that such relationships are given to someone as a gift. It needs to be worked on constantly, regularly, and by both partners.

But dependent relationships are already about illness. When one partner is completely dependent on the other. And I'm not talking about the financial component.

I will give a clear example: a woman is constantly worried about where her man is, why he is late, and if he is late, she has already drawn up many options in her head about where he might be and with whom.

Such women do not live their own lives. They live their partner's life. They follow him, check phones, correspondence. Manic jealousy appears.

Such a woman stops taking care of herself over time, because she simply doesn't have enough time for herself. She stops meeting her friends, because it's better to sit next to a man 24/7. And the list goes on and on.

Such relationships usually have two outcomes. Either the partner will run away, because he is simply being suffocated by attention from all sides. Or the woman will become a victim, the man - an abuser. He will start insulting the woman, humiliating her, perhaps raising his hand. And the woman will feel that she does everything for him, is ready for anything, and he is so bad and does not appreciate her.

Perhaps some of you recognized yourself from the second example of attachment. In this case, it is very important to work with a psychologist or psychotherapist. And there is nothing shameful or disgraceful about this! It is better to have a healthy psyche than to expose your health to deterioration due to nervous breakdowns.

Earlier, the doctor told what qualities of women over 40 make men's heads spin.