Love, if it was real and very strong, usually cannot just go away. Often it takes quite a long time for the feelings to fade away completely.
When you start dating a guy who recently got out of a relationship, you need to be prepared for the fact that he still has feelings for his ex.
Perhaps, according to him, everything is in the past. But he may be deceiving himself and thereby unknowingly deceiving you.
If you are disgusted by this situation and you are not going to tolerate the phantom of an unknown girl in your relationship, then take a closer look at your chosen one.
There are certain signs that can easily tell if he loves his ex or if he has truly forgotten about her completely.
How to tell if he's thinking about his ex?
Observe your loved one's behavior. Be attentive, pay attention to every little thing. But, by the way, don't expect the worst.
Even if it turns out that the guy is still suffering over his ex, this does not mean at all that he will never forget her in principle.
The main thing is that he feels tenderness and awe towards you too, and then it is quite possible to build a happy and strong relationship with this person.
Signs of Love for an Ex
• He mixes up your names. Does your boyfriend sometimes accidentally call you by another girl's name? And is that girl his ex? It's important to figure out how often and under what circumstances this happens.
If he gets confused with names outside of bed, then you shouldn't worry too much. It's quite possible that the guy is simply very used to someone else's name, so it's hard for him to quickly adjust. If he calls you Lenochka/Marinochka/Mashenka during sex, this is a reason to think.
• He mentions his ex almost every time we talk. If a guy often talks about his past love, he probably hasn't let her go yet. It's bad when the memories are good.
For example, you are walking in the park with him, and suddenly he says something like: “And in this alley I first confessed my love to Nadya...” or “Anechka really loves it when the acacia blossoms...” Such phrases indicate that he savors the memories of past love and is not ready to give them up yet.
• He is angry with her and complains to you about the grievances she caused him. Ideally, after the beginning of your relationship, he should not remember his ex at all. If he is still worried about the grievances she caused him, it means that his feelings have not completely died out.
While the pain in his soul is strong, echoes of love for his ex remain.
• He's worried about the reason why they broke up. Does your boyfriend pester you with stories about his ex and try to figure out exactly why the previous relationship broke up?
He asks you, as a girl, what could have been a stumbling block for continuing the relationship? This is not a good sign. Perhaps in his soul he still cherishes thoughts of getting back together with his ex, correcting mistakes.
• He openly suffers from emotional pain. If a guy doesn’t even try to hide his heartache from you, most likely, the love for his ex was really incredibly strong – the kind that can’t go away even when a new relationship appears.
Sometimes he withdraws into himself, immerses himself in memories, and tears come to his eyes? It may well be that at these moments he feels sorry for himself and worries that he could not maintain a relationship with that girl.
• His communication with his ex continues. Does the guy openly meet or call her, explaining this as a friendly relationship? There is a chance that this is really just friendship between exes.
But if he spends a lot of time with his ex and is alone with her from time to time, then it is rather foolish to believe in such an explanation. Most likely, sparks of passion still flare up between them or there is a strong emotional connection.
• He compares you to his ex. It doesn’t really matter what qualities the guy is talking about and who the comparison is in his favor.
Let's say he often repeats that you are smarter, more interesting, sexier than his ex. What does this mean? That he still can't forget her. Perhaps, by belittling the merits of his ex, he is trying to convince himself that he did the right thing by breaking up with her.
• He still keeps in touch with his ex's relatives. On weekends, he goes to a bar with her brother, agrees to go fishing with her father, and wishes her mother a happy March 8th and birthday?
This behavior most likely indicates that he does not want to lose contact with his ex-girlfriend's family in the hopes of reestablishing a loving relationship with her. And he hopes to do this by winning the trust of her family and friends.
• He keeps all her gifts. It's one of two things - either he's greedy to the point of madness, so he can't bring himself to throw away what he got for free, or these gifts are a guarantee of his ex-girlfriend's love for him.
If a guy is really committed to building a long-term relationship with you, he will soon get rid of everything that could upset you, including intimate photos with his ex.
What to do if the guy really still can't free his thoughts from the image of his ex? Think about whether you are ready to wait until he frees himself. If so, then continue to calmly build a relationship, be gentle and affectionate - and eventually his long-standing love for his ex will fade away.
Previously, we talked about how to understand that you have chosen the right partner.
