Every day you say dozens of phrases that seem harmless.
But what if these words are subtly destroying a child's self-esteem, programming him for fears and insecurities?
For example, the phrase "Well done!" - what could possibly be wrong with praise? It turns out that such an assessment focuses the child not on the process, but on the result.
He begins to think that his parents' love depends on his success, and he is afraid of making a mistake.
Even more dangerous are phrases like “Don’t cry!” or “Don’t be afraid!” A ban on emotions teaches a child to suppress feelings rather than experience them.
Over time, this leads to internal conflicts: he is ashamed of his own fears, sadness, anger, which can result in anxiety disorders or aggression.
Instead of denying your emotions, try saying, "I understand you're scared. Let's think about how to make this less scary."
The third dangerous phrase is "You are the best!" It would seem, how can support harm? But constantly emphasizing exclusivity creates unrealistic expectations.
The child is afraid of disappointing his parents if he suddenly does not become "the first". He begins to lie, hide failures or refuses difficult tasks altogether.
How to avoid these mistakes? Replace evaluative phrases with neutral ones.
Instead of "You're a genius!" say, "I love how you came up with the solution." This shifts the focus from the person to the action.
Avoid comparisons with other children: "Look how neatly Masha writes!" - such words give rise to envy and insecurity. Better: "Let's practice, and you can do it too."
