Perhaps you have heard from parents phrases like "Good girls don't cry", "If you're not made of sugar, you won't melt", "Be smarter - keep quiet"? Or maybe you yourself say them to your children?
These and other expressions (“Don’t cry,” “Don’t whine,” “I’m just putting up with it,” etc.) prohibit the child from feeling and experiencing emotions.
Why do parents use these phrases?
They are used by those adults who are afraid to trust their own feelings and have not mastered the skill of managing emotions.
They simply don’t know what to do with strong feelings, how and why they appear, so they choose the easiest way – to forbid them altogether.
The feelings that the child experiences frighten the adult and throw him off balance.
What do such expressions lead to?
The ban on feelings in childhood leads to the fact that as an adult, a person does not hear himself and does not understand what he feels. He cannot respond to the signals that his body sends him, does not know what he wants.
As a result, psychosomatic diseases arise.
How to fix the situation
Ask yourself: "What am I feeling? Why? What sensations does my body experience?"
An exercise with an alarm clock helps a lot: every hour when the alarm goes off, check your physical and emotional state. This practice will help you focus on the sensations you experience.
