One aspect of parenting is establishing rules and discipline that help children develop skills of self-control, respect for others, and responsibility for their actions.
But which rules and methods of discipline are effective, and which can do more harm than good.
Rules are restrictions or requirements that parents place on their children to regulate their behavior.
The rules may concern different areas of the child's life: studies, household chores, communication with other people, safety, health, etc.
Rules help children understand the expectations of their parents and society, and they also give them a sense of order and stability.
Discipline is the process of teaching children to follow rules and accept consequences for breaking them.
Discipline can be positive or negative. Positive discipline involves reinforcing a child's desired behavior through praise, attention, rewards, or privileges.
Negative discipline involves punishing a child's undesirable behavior through criticism, ignoring, deprivation, or physical abuse.
What discipline rules and methods work best?
There is no single answer to this question, as every child and every family is unique.
However, there are some general principles that can help parents choose rules and discipline that are right for their children.
1. Rules should be clear, specific, understandable and fair. The child should know what is expected of him and why. Rules should be appropriate to the child’s age and abilities, and take into account his interests and needs.
2. Rules must be agreed upon between parents and other adults involved in the child's upbringing.
A child should not receive conflicting or changing signals about what is and is not acceptable. Parents should support each other in applying rules and discipline.
3. Rules must be followed and monitored. Parents must ensure that the child follows the rules and bears the consequences for violations. Parents should not make exceptions or concessions due to fatigue, pity or guilt.
It is also important for parents to set a good example with their behavior and follow the same rules as their children.
4. Rules should be flexible and adaptable. Parents should be willing to review and adjust rules as the situation, circumstances, or needs of the child change. Parents should also consider the child’s opinion and give the child the opportunity to participate in setting or changing rules, if possible and appropriate.
5. Discipline should be positive and respectful. Parents should try to reward the child's desirable behavior rather than punish undesirable behavior. Rewards should be appropriate, timely, and meaningful to the child. Punishments should be proportionate, logical, and related to the violation. Parents should not use physical violence, insults, threats, or blackmail as methods of discipline. Parents should show the child that they love and care for him, regardless of his behavior.
6. Discipline should be educational and developmental. Parents need to teach the child to understand the causes and consequences of their behavior, as well as alternative ways of solving problems or expressing emotions. Adults need to allow the child to independently control his behavior, and not to submit to fear or external pressure. Parents should help the child develop self-esteem and self-actualization.
Using rules and discipline in raising children is not just a way to suppress or correct behavior, but an opportunity to shape the child's personality. Correctly chosen rules and discipline can help a child become a happy, successful and responsible member of society.
Previously we talked about how to organize a children's birthday party .
