Rethinking the Past: How Childhood Influences Adulthood
Our childhood has a very strong influence on our life.
The way our parents and relatives lived, how they built relationships, how they resolved issues, how they treated the child themselves - all this influences our subsequent life.
Let's, together with psychologist Ksenia Matur, look at the areas and examples of what and how can influence us.
1. Relationships between a man and a woman: dad and mom, grandma and grandpa and other significant figures. How they built relationships with each other, how they showed attention and love, how they resolved conflicts.
There is a high probability that a person will build relationships in the same way in his life, resolve conflicts in the same way, etc.
2. Attitude to work, career. We see how parents behave in the same way - we will repeat.
For example, if parents hated their jobs and constantly complained about them, then as an adult, the child will most likely not like their jobs very much either.
And the same thing is the other way around: if parents do what they want and love their work, then the child, when he grows up, will love his work and will feel himself and his desires.
3. Attitude to money: if a child sees that parents save on everything, buy only the cheapest and low-quality things - there are 2 options. Either do the same, save on everything, be content with little, or, on the contrary, squander money and buy everything they want and even borrow money.
Or another situation - parents are entrepreneurs, they know how to profit from everything and make money, they choose quality goods, they know how and like to pay, then the child adopts this picture of the world and also knows how to earn, pay and choose the best for himself.
4. Raising children. An area in which we don’t even realize it, but we adopt the habitual behavior of parents with children. If parents knew how to support, praise, care, then the child, growing up, will behave the same way with others, especially with their own children.
And if the parents beat, punished and humiliated their child, then the child will most likely do the same, without even realizing that this causes a lot of pain to the child.
As a rule, such parents say: "I was beaten, and I grew up normal." Considering this to be the norm. Or, on the contrary, despite such an attitude, the grown-up child goes to psychotherapy and forms other programs and behavior patterns in himself.
5. Attitude to health. If parents smoke and drink, the child will form this as a norm. And it is pointless to tell him that this is bad - he will take the parent as an example.
Or the general attitude towards health, sports, nutrition - if parents try to eat right, play sports, then for the child this will become the norm of life, and he will carry this into his life.
We can talk about the influence of childhood for a very long time. It is important to understand that we all come from childhood, and therefore consist of patterns and strategies of behavior of parents.
The good news is that by being aware of these strategies, we can change them!
For reference
Childhood is a period of human development when a person actively learns to understand the world around him, trains the necessary skills, and assimilates culture.
