Perfectionism: How it interferes with life and how to deal with it

Despite the prevailing opinion that perfectionism is evil and must be gotten rid of because it interferes with life, there is healthy perfectionism, which, on the contrary, helps us.

Perfectionism is a desire for excellence that motivates us to do our job well and strive to do it better and better, improving our skills.

But there is also unhealthy, destructive perfectionism, which forces you to put things off because of the fear of doing something imperfectly, it forces you to redo the same thing a hundred times, striving for an imaginary ideal.

Today, together with psychologist Ksenia Matur, we will talk in detail about this type of perfectionism.

How it prevents us from living and working

Procrastination. The desire for perfection prevents you from starting new things, trying new things because of the fear that it won't be perfect.

It seems to us that I don’t know enough and can’t do it yet, I need to learn more, wait.

There is a certain illusion that after some time we will get everything perfect on the first try.

But this is not true: any skill requires experience and honing of skills, and at first it will not be so beautiful and competent, this is normal!

Being in a constant state of anxiety that something will go wrong is not ideal.

A lot of time, effort, and energy is spent on rechecking, finishing, and redoing everything. Accordingly, the result is delayed in time.

Low self-esteem, inability to notice one's results, devaluation of one's achievements and results, difficulty accepting compliments and awards.

Such people always feel like they could have done better, and therefore have nothing to brag about or be happy about at the moment.

What to do if you find yourself with this type of perfectionism

The main thing is to start keeping a diary of achievements and success. Write down all your successes, skills and achievements.

Periodically reread this list, add new results and successes. This will strengthen your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Our task is to learn to value all our results and successes, and not just the “Ideal” ones.

Realize that imperfections and imperfections are normal. "Gods do not burn pots", we are ordinary people and we are prone to mistakes. This is normal and natural.

Allow yourself to be imperfect, to make mistakes. Mistakes are an important part of our lives, including the development of professionalism.

Gradually get used to imperfections in different areas. For example, stop doing something when it is done well enough, without bringing it to perfection.

For example, if you are cleaning out your closet and you haven’t finished one drawer, leave it like that and live with the thought that “this is also possible”!

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• perfectionism
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• 19 December 2024

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