Why do people act without regard for others?
“A man can do what he wants, but he cannot will what he wants” - this phrase by Arthur Schopenhauer, a misanthrope, philosopher and confirmed bachelor, has a lot of meaning.
If a person wants something, he can achieve it through effort, but the aspirations themselves are dictated to a person either by nature (instincts) or by society (morality and habits), thus desires are almost always determined in advance and are not even fully realized by a person.
The attractiveness of certain types of the opposite sex in a person is also embedded in advance, which is easy to notice from the history of personal relationships of each; types happen to be different, but the greatest conditional comfort is with a type that has certain characteristics.
One of the reasons for the behavioral reactions of people who act without regard for the opinion or desire of others is precisely the hidden predisposition (predetermination) of a specific individual, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
Therefore, each person develops a system of values, and the concept of "free will" and choice exists, but it is very relative. Let's take as an example the definition "humanly", which is often encountered and even characterizes individuals and events.
Due to the different value systems of different people, it will be revealed in different ways and, accordingly, have different tolerances and limitations.
So, if desires are determined for us a priori, then it is clear that human behavior is controlled by stressors, the desire for pleasure and, most importantly, changes in blood composition, in particular fluctuations in hormone levels.
Every achievement is justified by something: for example, in creativity – by fame (it can have any sign and is not a constant value – that is what makes it interesting), in sports – by energy for accomplishments and a beautiful body, and in general – by the desire to win a social competition with others, to boast of something that another does not have to the same extent.
There is nothing wrong with the desire to arouse admiration with a view to affection, and therefore influence; it has been used by women for hundreds of years with the help of cosmetics and self-care support, that is, “illustration” of appearance and form.
All other desires are “hidden” in this – from endless advertising activity on social networks (for those who have it) to leadership in a team and scientific work that claims the attention of the Nobel Committee.
And in particular, the choice of reactions or actions is determined by the source of endorphins, which people can still partially influence.
The most common thing, that is, without thinking about the reasons, is to see in another person “understandable” characteristic features; this brings people closer together.
A person is not surprised when the same or similar qualities are contained in himself. Thus, one can comprehend another and understand him only to the extent of one's own intellect. That is why the saying "don't judge by yourself" is sometimes appropriate, although often useless.
Egoism and narcissism as personality traits that supposedly influence inattention to the opinions and desires of others are also qualities inherent in human nature, but note that the subject himself rarely characterizes himself in this way, and not only due to the lack of critical thinking; typically characteristics, like labels, are “attributed” from the outside.
Since the free will of a person and the understanding of another - together with his thoughts, desires, fears and hopes - are relative concepts, not always clearly realized, in relationships between people there are misunderstandings, and, accordingly, the actions of one without taking into account the opinion of the other.
Not at all because a person is “bad” or “good” to someone; categorical judgments should be abandoned. But because he cannot live differently, is not taught and acts in accordance with his natural, characteristic qualities and accumulated experience of solving similar situations.
The conclusions from what has been said can be different. For example, turning to the same Arthur Schopenhauer, remember: "I can't change this, all that remains is to benefit from it."
