Personal boundaries are a fairly new topic for our society.
After all, it was not accepted to take care of yourself and your comfort before. You had to think only about others and what they would say about you.
Thus, we have several generations of adults who are at a loss when it comes to defending their interests, says Victoria Nagornaya .
For example, we can't refuse because we're afraid of offending someone. We can't clearly state our desires. It can be difficult for us to object when someone yells at us or speaks rudely to us.
All this is about the inability to defend personal boundaries. So what to do? Let's figure it out.
Personal boundaries are an individual space of a person, which he sets himself and in which he feels in order and safe. This space protects his values, interests, hobbies, beliefs, emotions, etc.
In simple terms, this is the answer to the question: "What can and cannot be done with you?" Healthy personal boundaries are when you know what you want and are not afraid to tell others about it.
The first step to understanding and protecting your personal boundaries is to understand yourself.
Conduct self-analysis.
1. Over the course of a week, track and write down in a notebook what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t feel comfortable with in your relationships with other people.
2. Analyze the situations that caused discomfort. Think about why you felt uncomfortable and what you could have done differently.
3. Determine what is truly important to you. Write a list of your values and priorities. This will help you better understand where exactly you need to set boundaries.
Once you get to know yourself better and begin to notice when your boundaries are being violated, it's time to start developing self-defense skills.
The easiest way to practice is to rely on the 3 main types of personal boundaries.
1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Temporary.
This includes everything related to your body and your material values.
Be open and honest with those around you about what you find unpleasant or unacceptable. For example.
This includes everything related to your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
If you don't want to talk about some topics, don't be afraid to say it honestly. For example.
This includes everything related to the only non-renewable resource - time.
It is very important to prioritize and understand what will be best for you in the short and long term. If you understand that you are not ready to spend your time, then say so. For example, like this.
Protecting personal boundaries is no longer a whim, but a requirement for normal life in modern society.
Start small: recognize your needs, learn to say “no,” and develop self-confidence. Over time, you will feel your boundaries becoming clear and protected, and your life becoming more harmonious and comfortable.
Earlier we talked about how to understand that a person is lying and not blushing.
