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When and why do men cry
04.06.2024 18:58
Updated: 08.08.2024 20:15
The topic is so taboo in male groups that it can cause mixed reactions.
However, a man is also a human being, and nothing human is alien to him.
Another thing is that established patterns or styles of behavior are popular in society, including those cultivated for boys from childhood, as if men do not cry and male tears are a “weakness.”
We hasten to disappoint you - this is not true. Men do not show emotions intentionally, but it happens. And professionals know this very well.
Moreover, male tears are a natural emotional manifestation - as a reaction to events and circumstances. From a psychological point of view, crying is a natural and substitute reaction of the body and does not contradict masculinity or, say, going to the gym to "splash out" emotions with the help of active strength exercises or, for example, boxing.
Let's reveal the peculiarities in terms of the fact that men can "shed crocodile tears" and can simply "moisten their eyes" or "become tearful." These manifestations are individual and depend on the characteristic features, situation and experience of the man, - believes psychologist Andrey Kashkarov .
In Russia, it is not accepted for a man to show emotions, much less cry. When a man sheds tears, it is not a demonstrative reaction, but a reflection of internal emotional experiences.
But in some other countries of the world, openness of male emotions is "the norm". However, this phenomenon is treated differently everywhere. Because a man is positioned first and foremost as a man of action. And most representatives of the stronger sex are exactly like that.
Ancient parable
We are talking about an Eastern parable that is many centuries old. One day, the Master and his students saw a peasant trying to pull out an ox that was stuck in a hole, but the tandem of man and ox clearly did not have enough strength. The Master gave a sign to his students and with their combined efforts they were able to pull the ox out of the hole. The peasant thanked them.
As they continued on their way, they saw another hole, and in it too was an ox. Another peasant was sitting nearby, crying about his misfortune. The disciples looked at the Master, but he gave no sign, and they passed by as if nothing had happened. Later, the disciples asked him:
- Teacher, why did we help one peasant, but you didn’t want to help the second one?
“Help him cry?” was the answer.
Therefore, even today, what is important is not so much whether a man cries, but how he acts even if he cries.
Why do women like men's tears?
Of course, this statement is not always true and not for every man. It is appropriate to draw certain conclusions and think in general - why do women love men's tears at least in TV series and often fall platonically in love with the actors playing the corresponding roles.
Thus, a woman is interested in a brutal man in some situations, and an understanding, humane partner in others. Not everything is simple, but this is punishable.
For a Russian and a man from Belarus, this is a reason to think - without any obligation to act.
Not only a woman, but any experienced person, again regardless of gender. An experienced man will never laugh at this. Neither will a woman. Moreover, women see in men's tears (when they are indirect and do not come from a partner) a manifestation of humanity and even an attractive beginning.
Cause and effect relationship and features
It is not a matter of an exclusive relationship with a woman. Rather, the situation does not depend on gender characteristics, but has clearly defined signs.
One of the common cases when a man emotionally reacts to a situation with tears is associated with a betrayal of his interests or the effect of surprise and disappointment, when he trusted, invested his time, energy and money in the relationship, but was suddenly deceived.
In this situation, it is customary to recall the story of Caesar and Brutus, which has come down to our time in many ways altered, “castrated,” and, on the whole, only partially true.
The Secret of Turkish TV Series Popularity
As specialists in the field of contemporary cinema, history and modernity of cinema, we have written more than one article about cinema. And upon careful consideration and analysis, anyone who takes the trouble to think about it will notice in this area – in accordance with our topic – obvious coincidences.
Speaking specifically, the success of Turkish female actors, scripts and films, including long-running series, is a telling phenomenon. The series "The Kinglet - the Songbird" (which was released almost 30 years ago) and the modern "Kingfisher" have one thing in common, among other things.
Sincerity of emotions and representation of men in the role of not insensitive and always brutal "Chinese dummies", but living, sensual and feeling creatures. This is one of the reasons for the popularity of Turkish (and not only) TV series in the eyes of Russian and Belarusian women.
The storyline and beloved characters literally keep viewers glued to their screens.
And the secret is revealed relatively simply. Frank scenes and a plot full of emotions and acute development, showing sincere emotions, including men's tears.
Let us especially note (let us remind readers) that the main thing that attracts a mature woman in the 21st century is that she dreams of emotions. Give me emotions, as if she "screams" an unspoken dream. Some psychologists, using slang and not perfectly, call the same thing "to rock by emotions." However, it really works.
And not only in Turkey this is the order of things. Any dramatic situation, a movie shakes a person (the viewer) emotionally.
There are many examples to support this, including the film Cry Macho (2021), directed by Clint Eastwood Jr., who celebrated his 94th birthday on May 31 this year. Eastwood plans to end his career as a director with his 40th film, Juror No. 2, in 2024.
Consequences of betrayal of interests
Men often recall this story without knowing or understanding its real essence, when they exclaim or think: "and you, Brutus," implying some kind of betrayal of interests. In this connection, it is worth considering three features.
Firstly, there was no betrayal as such in this ancient history. Because we must clearly understand who Brutus was; there were several Brutuses during Caesar's time, including Brutus' uncle, who faithfully served the "throne" and the emperor.
Secondly, the astonished Caesar never exclaimed "and you, Brutus." Because Brutus himself was not there at that moment.
Thirdly, the situation can be viewed not as pure betrayal, but as the wisdom of "to betray in time is not to betray, but to foresee." By the way, this argument is widely used these days by both men and women.
That is why there is a crisis of mutual trust in society even at the level of personal relationships – at a certain stage. All relationships – where people have “power” and resources, are partly independent, are literally permeated with competition between the parties.
When the opportunity to find a “better lot” arises, many representatives of humanity do not neglect this opportunity.
You can call it "logic", "common sense" and even "revenge" - both sides always find arguments, but it doesn't change the essence. People betray.
When this happens to a particular man who has invested a lot in the relationship, he is dejected, depressed and upset to the point of crying. Because the former trust - the main characteristic of any union and friendship - is destroyed.
One of the simplest and most real examples is a divorce from a woman. A man definitely perceives this as a betrayal. But those who practice such experiments should not be deceived.
A man can cry, but he won't do it forever. There comes a time when he gains strength. And then, depending on many factors (above), he can manifest himself in different ways. Someone will take revenge, someone will forget the reason for the "tears" forever.
The pain of loss
In such cases, people cry without regard to gender. In a situation where they lose a friend, a girlfriend, or a loved one in general, not all men and not always will be able to hold back their tears.
Yes, they wipe tears from their eyes furtively, “so that the tears do not obscure visibility,” but there are known and understandable cases when, upon losing a comrade and friend, men cannot contain their emotions.
Showing sincerity
The greatest emotional “openness” that leads to the “tearful effect” is not so much provided by women as by behavior regardless of gender.
It is known that men can cry, emotionally perceiving circumstances. In particular, the manifestation of feelings can often be seen in church, during a sermon that “grabs” the consciousness.
On the one hand, male traces indicate that he perceives his behavior as correct, but previously un- and underestimated. When his rightness is somehow confirmed later, emotional reactions can be accompanied by tears.
On the other hand, and this is the main thing, such a reaction speaks of the sincerity of the expression of feelings, because "squeezing out a tear" on demand is practically difficult. Unless he is an actor, transforming himself in a professional performance of a role.
In general, we have examined some of the features of the manifestation of a male emotional reaction that leads to “moistening of the eyes.”
These reactions can be controlled in different ways, but in no way do they infringe on male dignity or the typical gender role in society.
Moreover, a man can easily combine the fulfillment of the tasks assigned to him, not give up his positions, not admit defeat and at the same time remain humane and emotional. In the manner of the words from the famous song from the film "Height" - "he moaned, but held on."
Earlier we listed phrases that give away haters.
