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How Not to Lose a Friend Who Has New Kids: You Don't Have to Keep Talking About Diapers
15.04.2024 18:42
If you have a friend who is a new parent, you might need these tips on how to maintain your friendship.
Things won't be like before - we need to understand this
If you value friendship, be prepared for the fact that for the next 7-10 years your meetings will only take place on weekends (because you work) and only at your friend’s house (because he needs to look after the child).
Meetings will have to be agreed upon in advance, clarifying a lot of details: what time to arrive, whether to ring the doorbell, whether to bring food with you, etc.
This approach will probably leave you wondering why you should adapt and not your friend. There is only one piece of advice to give in this situation: put yourself in his place.
If you yourself become that friend with a child, then you should not wait for your friends to invite you to a meeting – invite them yourself.
Learn to communicate again
As a rule, people who have children are almost obsessed with diapers and strollers, while single people are not at all interested in these topics.
But don't forget that most moms and dads are really happy to discuss other topics that don't concern their child, so don't be shy about suggesting abstract topics when visiting. The main thing is not to overdo it: if your friend had an interesting job before maternity leave, you can talk about your work, but not for too long: half an hour will be enough.
If you are a friend with a child, pay attention to the conversations and do not be offended if your friends do not show enthusiasm when discussing things that are important to you, because formula and diapers are most likely of interest only to you. Half an hour on the topic of a new stroller - and that's enough.
Look for the positives in the new situation
People without children tend to value their freedom more when they compare themselves to new moms and dads.
Another benefit of this situation is that over time, a special closeness will develop in your relationship with your friend.
Previously, we talked about what to do if the quality of intellectual activity has decreased.
