Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov told how to forgive yourself for mistakes
No person is completely perfect, if we talk about the harmonious development of personality to the ordinary, but one can strive for perfection.
Those who act, one way or another, sooner or later achieve results.
Another thing is that the result does not always coincide with our subjective opinion - the request in time of goal setting, and in practice it turns out to be a fulfilled "dream with variations". Therefore, in the format of regular re-evaluations of actions and comparisons with others, people subjectively identify errors and try to correct them.
This is a typical normal phenomenon, as a property of an analytical mind, says psychologist Andrey Kashkarov . Nevertheless, one should not always get carried away in re-evaluating one's own actions and identifying mistakes, but in measured doses and very carefully, as well as "turn on" one's own predictor and censor "at all times and in all places."
In order to forgive yourself for mistakes, you need to remember that all people are dependent on something in one way or another, have desires and dreams, obvious or hidden under a mask, their own background (in a broader sense, also called a "skeleton in the closet"), and therefore are not always impeccable in their thoughts and behavior. Therefore, everyone makes mistakes. And you cannot please everyone at once - no matter what you do and with what motives you improve this world.
If we talk about the Internet with its inherent "digital trace" of everything and everyone, there are a number of available tools both in the legal field and technical capabilities for deleting or correcting elements of this "trace". For example, in the legal field, the federal law "On Information" (149-FZ, 2006) comes to the rescue in Russia, which enshrines the right to information oblivion. In addition, there are a number of services that provide targeted services for deleting almost any digital trace. These conditional norms, ideas and possibilities can be transferred to private life and situation - as an example for action.
But does this clearly indicate that a person stops worrying about his own mistakes? Of course not. Because situations can be very different.
Firstly, “forgiving yourself” is akin to recognizing the right to make mistakes, and everyone who acts in one way or another makes mistakes.
Secondly, "experience is the son of difficult mistakes" is a good basis for improvement and harmonious development of personality, a prerequisite for not making mistakes in the future. The saying "it's not bad that you made a mistake, but it would be bad if you liked doing it" is appropriate.
Thirdly, any mistake can be analyzed and unexpectedly find a useful and rational grain in it. An illustration of this possibility is as follows. You often hear people admit: "how good that it happened on time." Also not a perfect judgment, it may be erroneous, but it explains with an example that in any action and (or) mistake there is something good, useful at least for experience.
Almost everything in this world can be fixed: you can ignite passion in your beloved woman, pay off your debts, and everything material can be replaced.
In terms of religious studies discourse, one effective way of forgetting is the practice of spiritual care, available not only in Christ-centered denominations. Forgiveness is given by faith, and in principle presupposes repentance with conscious "sin", not nominal repentance. People who attend church are well aware of this.
In order to stop thinking about your own mistakes, winding yourself up, you need to consciously switch your thoughts to other phenomena, for example, to your plans (also full of future mistakes) and to your achievements (one way or another, not perfect). Critical thinking is a very good tool for life, it does not allow you to indiscriminately condemn others while you yourself are imperfect.
A person makes mistakes all his life in this world. That's how it is. Admit it and live calmly. Mexican philosopher Octavio Pasa long ago suggested a good idea: "a person asks himself the same questions throughout his life, only the answers change." Therefore, you need to try, but without excessive worries, and only so that your mistakes are not irreparable, critical for you and other people.
