A psychologist told how to raise self-esteem
Self-esteem, by definition, implies subjectivity, that is, how a person evaluates himself.
The desire and attempt to raise self-esteem, that is, to re-evaluate oneself with a higher score, of course, has a double meaning.
Even if you overestimate yourself, it will not necessarily lead to the same effect on others who have their own subjective assessments of you. Thus, everything is relative, even the effect of increased self-esteem, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
Nevertheless, if there is a burning desire to "raise", why not do it? To do this, let's remember the most indisputable achievements, starting from kindergarten and up to the last time, let's remember authoritative people who reasonably (reasonably) praised you, recognizing your best qualities in something.
Here we also need to remember that it is correct to thank, to acknowledge authority or ordinariness, including as an example to others, and generally useful, just as it is not the person who needs to be criticized, but his actions. Having acknowledged this, it will be easier with self-esteem.
If someone has found sedition or harm in your actions or is simply concerned with criticism for the sake of criticism, and it seems to you that it is directed against you - relax, calm down and remember that the object of criticism is not you, but your actions. This is a big difference. In this case, your self-esteem suffers less, and less effort will be required to "raise" it.
If it is difficult for a specific person to follow this path, raise your self-esteem with new successes in your area of expertise. This can be anything from gastronomic culinary delights (it is even pleasant if your husband admits that the dishes you prepare are not hay), to sports achievements or psychological support-help to a friend at the right time.
Where you are recognized as an authority, where you are praised (and not flattered - there is a big difference) or at least not scolded - all this is a field of opportunities for increasing self-esteem.
So you understand that you can do something else, something new in relation to what you have already done, in the areas where you have already decorated or positively changed this world, where there have been no outstanding successes before you.
From here follows a logical method - achieve new successes in areas unknown to you, that is, try new things - hobbies, acquaintances, places, travel or even knitting - anything.
Look around. Self-esteem can grow arbitrarily and in conditions of comparison not only with your own previous results (growth dynamics), but also with the people around you, their achievements and even behavior, which you can subjectively evaluate for yourself.
If your friend has a relatively smart husband, but with a belly, like the head of the department Tuzzi from Robert Musil's outstanding work "The Man Without Qualities", be glad that you do not have such a burden (belly).
If, on the contrary, you have it and it tires you out like the imperfect maxim “my husband went on vacation: now I have twice as much as my husband and half as much money”, be glad that yours is without a belly and not as bald as the head of the department Tuzzi, and how nice it is to grab yours by the scruff of the neck at the right intimate moment.
These are all examples that come "off the top of my head". There may be many. The main thing: find a positive quality - a grain in something that you have, and rejoice in the happiness that you have. What you have, and not someone else. And remember - how much effort (a job well done also raises self-esteem) you have put in in life to reach this existing level, which is not available to everyone. This is how self-esteem works in comparison.
Everything in our turbulent world is relative, and there are things that literally cannot be predicted, because "the ways are mysterious." One will say "my glass is half full," another - "the glass is half empty" (even though we are talking about the same special glassware), and a person with an engineering mindset would say that "yes, there could be half as much glass." Therefore, the world is multifaceted and multifaceted.
You certainly decorate it. Accept it and live peacefully. And maybe work on what you lack - a person who would sincerely say this next to you every morning, day, evening, night and again - morning; say what a wonderful and unique person you are. In order for him/her to appear - get ready.
Put a cake, "goodies", champagne or something else on the table, open the door, and "it" will come, even if only by the smell. When you achieve this, you will stop noticing your self-esteem at all, just as a medically healthy person does not notice the contractions of the heart muscle.
In any case, the main rule is this. Don't wait. Start acting. Any action brings results one way or another, including the result of increased self-esteem. Of course, there were elements of sarcasm in this story, but the essence of the recommendations - for those who understand - remains invariably effective.
