Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov explains how not to be a bore
As with almost any issue under discussion, it is necessary to first agree on the meanings, that is, to understand what “bore” means.
Without repeating common definitions and opinions, we can simply say that a bore is characterized by repeatedly bothering others and himself for one reason.
A particularly sensitive person, who is in a state of heightened perception of a situation or suggestion, imagines an existing problem of “cosmic proportions” and for him, of course, it is extremely important, it is an “idée fixe”.
Conventionally, "boring" or "boring" is associated with an increased level or habit of narcissistic, egoistic manifestations, when a person hardly thinks about others, "rushing" with his idea or problem. But it would be worth thinking about...
Since people have their own interests, characteristics, and in principle it is difficult to find exactly two Homo sapiens with identical reactions, it is extremely naive to assume that everyone will be equally interested in or like your way of posing the question.
Although “naivety is not a vice”, it is still better to avoid unnecessary complications in communication until you are expelled from the boundaries of “your” circle, until they start to conditionally “kick you to the edge of the cliff”, having previously washed your “bones” in a discussion behind your back.
Thus, the first step to stop "nagging" is clear - think about other human reactions and imagine the consequences of continuing your characteristic behavior. This is, of course, about the culture of criticism and critical thinking, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
The next step or at the same time it is desirable to "let go" of the problem or idea. For a while or forever. Switch your attention to anything - traveling, new acquaintances, hobbies, remember an old dream or just "call mom" if she is far away. She will be pleased, and so will you.
Among the effective methods of distraction from the obsession, such as systematic sports activities, long, at least 10 hours of healthy sleep and even bibliotherapy (reading fiction books by authors you respect) work very well. In the first case, you can additionally find new acquaintances for yourself, which will be a distracting factor.
It is clear that if the characteristic feature of "boring" is inherent in you, then you will show yourself even in a new acquaintance, because the statement "whatever a person talks about, he talks about himself" is true. Therefore, there are no abrupt changes in habits and character. But gradually, of course, habits can be changed, and your typical behavior can be improved for better communication.
"Bothering" others with the same thing, having already received a conclusion-answer on this account, is completely bad form. But this is not the main problem of a modern person in a hedonistic society oriented towards pleasure and consumption, explained from a psychoanalytic point of view, and therefore one of the easiest to "treat".
Apart from the persistence associated with the egoistic pattern of behavior, the problem is only relevant where there is company. In solitude, you will immediately understand that "nagging" is useless.
Try to retreat into the forest for a week, into a society with a different mental or linguistic prerogative, into a dugout, like the hero of aristocratic Petersburg, Count Alexei Bulanov (according to Ilf and Petrov), where the former carouser and spendthrift spent twenty years sleeping in a specially made coffin, and then the bugs told him that life was still as good and wonderful as ever. After which he came out to people. But do you really need such an experience to understand the simple truths about the stupidity of tediousness?
