Content
A psychologist explained who is susceptible to being ignored and how to react to it correctly
09.04.2023 20:45
Updated: 15.04.2023 04:09
Many people are concerned about the question: “Is it true that ignoring is always effective, and in particular, how does it work?”
Who can be ignored?
First, clinical psychologist of the “Doctor Anikina Clinic”, author of the Zen channel “Ecological Psychologist” Stanislav Sambursky wants to note that ignoring does not work on everyone.
Let's look at the reasons why people become subject to him.
1. Coldness of parents
For a child, the behavior of parents is the norm. He is not aware of other models of behavior, so coldness is perceived as a normal way of communication. In adulthood, a person strives to repeat such relationships: he reaches out to people who are indifferent to him. Instead of joy, this brings only suffering.
What is important here is that when a person encounters warmth and care instead of cold, the damaged psyche begins to resist it. Interest in the partner falls, and the person leaves. After all, he is not interested in being with someone who loves him.
2. Boredom
Some people get bored with the scenario of ordinary relationships, and as a result, they try to diversify their lives. Ignoring is a great tool for this. After all, before this, everything was so banal: women always hung themselves and never refused.
Suddenly a man meets someone who doesn't care about his income, plus he needs to pursue her, look for meetings, since she doesn't answer calls and text messages. As a result, his brain reacts to the non-standard situation with special interest.
3. Low self-esteem
A person with adequate or inflated self-esteem will not humiliate himself in front of someone who does not value him. An insecure person is emotionally dependent, so if you put even a little pressure on his weak spot, then dancing with a tambourine in front of the ignorer will immediately begin. The normal reaction to such behavior is to break off all contacts.
Adequate methods of influence
In order for life with a person to be comfortable, you need to choose a partner correctly. From the above it becomes clear - you can't build happiness with an ignorer. You need someone who won't turn life into an emotional swing. But if you still want to influence people, especially so that the person is drawn to you, you can use other methods.
The strongest influence on a person is his mother. History is full of cases where sons stood up to their fathers, but almost never to their mothers. The power of a mother lies in the manifestation of maternal instinct, in unconditional love and in teaching the ways of survival.
Most children go through stages of separation. But an adult unconsciously wants to return to a state where he was cared for and loved completely. It is worth noting that jealousy appears during separation - an important component of the instinct of self-preservation.
Therefore, the strongest manipulation, for example, in relation to a man is to accept him and sincerely love him. It is difficult to refuse a woman who gives him what his mother once gave him. Of all the duties of motherly love, a woman should use only two - to love and to accept. Cooing and wiping snot is not allowed.
Accepting and loving is one thing. It is important that a man does not turn out to be a wimp who has found a "mommy" and does not want to fulfill male duties. Therefore, the choice of a person should be thoughtful. In particular, it is worth paying attention to irritating factors. They will not go away and will destabilize the relationship.
How to respond to being ignored
Influencing a person is not that difficult. The main thing is to love and accept. But what to do if you are ignored? In this case, there are two ways to behave.
- It's trivial to ask to stop ignoring and express feelings about this. If the request remains unheard, then breaking off all relations will be very appropriate.
- Reciprocal ignoring. The method is dangerous, you shouldn't play it. The essence comes down to outplaying a person at his own game. The ignorer himself is emotionally dependent. When he sees that there is no result, he himself will turn into a victim and start looking for contact. As soon as victory is achieved, switch to normal communication.
If your partner ignores you, don't react. Don't encourage his game, otherwise he will use it again and again. The main thing to remember: in a healthy relationship there is no place for manipulation and other "dirty" techniques.
