Psychologist Anastasia Fon-Rikhter told how to maintain personal space
We suggest imagining personal space as point 0, where we feel calm, safe, and relaxed.
Psychologist Anastasia Fon-Rikhter told how to maintain personal space.
From there, a person goes out into the outside world, interacts with others, creates relationships, and realizes himself. Returning to this point gives the opportunity to rest, be with oneself, and be filled with resources.
Our life and our body consist of tension-relaxation cycles, and after each phase of activity (tension), ideally, there should be a phase of rest (relaxation). If this does not happen, we become exhausted.
In order to maintain personal space, you need to:
1. Define personal space as a territory: house, apartment, room.
Personal space as time: time for sleep and rest; time for personal procedures; time of silence; weekends when you are not in touch, etc.
Personal space as a relationship: topics you don’t talk about, questions you don’t answer, rules of interaction with you, what is acceptable for you in a relationship and what is not, knowing your “I want” and “I don’t want” and communicating it to the other person.
Personal space as a body: distance for one's own; distance for strangers; the body belongs to me or to someone else, rules of touching and close safe contact.
2. Learn to be in silence
Many people cannot create a space in which they are filled. This may be a habit, or an unwillingness to enter into conflict, or an inability to define a boundary. Being in silence is difficult for such people. But this is important, because our psyche needs rest.
Try to turn off all noise for at least 5 minutes, filter the digital content you consume, and avoid reading low-quality sources of information.
Start with the 5-minute silence rule in the morning and evening.
3. Create rules that will help define this personal space.
Often people who are used to not setting boundaries think of maintaining personal space as a conflict zone. Sometimes you really have to make an effort to set boundaries, but not always. It is important to remember about “I-messages” and communicating out of love. These rules can help avoid confrontation.
For example:
- "I would appreciate it if you called me during working hours."
- "I would like to spend 5 minutes in silence in the morning and evening. I would be grateful if you did not disturb me during this time. This is important to me."
- "I love you very much, but now it's time for me to rest," etc.
When we maintain our adult position in communication, but remain firm, it increases the chances that we will be heard. In this way, we maintain personal space and do not create conflict interactions.
Use these tips and define your personal space, because this is the only way we can preserve it.
