Psychologist Anna Sedelnikova told how to maintain personal space: advice

07.03.2023 12:00

Personal space is one of those seemingly simple things, but only at first glance.

Anna Sedelnikova, transformational psychologist, sports psychologist, told how to maintain personal space.

It's a question of boundaries - adequate boundaries. Boundaries create a structure that prevents people from invading someone else's space.

It's like a neighbor's fence, they help determine where "mine" is and where "yours" is. Good fences are good neighbors.

Adequate boundaries allow you to feel spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally separate, as well as feel safe in relationships and communications.

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Photo: Pixabay

We learn to set boundaries whenever we are around people with set boundaries. Therefore, if children grow up in families with clear boundaries, they quickly learn to determine where is "mine" and where is "not mine."

If the boundaries are blurred and unstable, then it will be difficult for children to establish their own. And accordingly, this will carry over into adulthood.

Obviously, as soon as you want to clarify your boundaries and assert your personal space, you will encounter conflicts because you will have to let people know that they are violating your boundaries.

At first glance, this may sound like something unpleasant, but it is not at all. In reality, when you tell people where your "fence" is, they are much more aware of theirs. Also, without any aggression, you can calmly convey to people that they have involuntarily crossed your boundaries.

You may even be the first person in your circle to recognize the importance of boundaries and understand how to set them.

But if you view the work of setting boundaries as a “learning experience” for yourself and others, you won’t feel ashamed that you don’t have boundaries and need to learn how to do so.

It is important to remember that boundaries come in different forms and all of them must be taken into account.

  • Physical. They help you take responsibility for your own body. They protect you from violence, aggression, and people who don’t keep physical distance.
  • Emotional. They allow you to have feelings and express them. And also to know the difference between your feelings and the feelings of other people.
  • Mental. Allows you to have your own thoughts and perceptions that differ from the thoughts and perceptions of other people.
  • Spiritual boundaries. Allow you to experience unity and unconditional love for yourself, even when you recognize your own imperfections.
Author: Valeria Kisternaya Internet resource editor