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How to Help Your Husband Cope with a Midlife Crisis
18.10.2024 07:20
The midlife crisis usually occurs between the ages of 33 and 40.
It is during this period that a man begins to understand that either he has not achieved the implementation of the “social order” (an apartment/mansion, a car, a management position, etc.), or social stereotypes will not make him happy.
It is also worth noting that it is during this period that even strong marriages fall apart. For the simple reason that a man feels that his other half is “not as ideal as he would like.”
So, let's take a closer look at how to help your dear spouse cope with the midlife crisis and save the family.
Be patient and calm
The first and main thing that can be recommended to ladies in such a difficult period of life is to stock up on a huge amount of patience and calm. Because you can easily forget about peace in the family.
You may find that your dear spouse suddenly stops liking the way you cook and starts eating out at cafes/restaurants/friends’ – colleagues’ – relatives’ houses.
Or suddenly decides to leave a stable job so as not to “work for someone else,” without warning/discussing this issue with you and not even having a clue how to continue earning a living.
And while he is "in creative search" for himself and his first clients, you will have to fully provide for the family. Or another "interesting" situation may arise. Therefore, be patient and calm in order to survive this period painlessly.
Don't sacrifice yourself
Yes, your spouse is going through a difficult psychological period. Yes, he needs support. Yes, he needs help with something. But this does not mean that you need to sacrifice yourself for the sake of another. Would you say that is selfish?
No one argues. But you must understand that you have an equal relationship, where one supports the other. And does not sacrifice his whole life so that the partner gets out of trouble and lives happily, and you lose everything that was dear to you: friends, career, hobbies, and so on.
Those who will argue about the sacrifice, remember one thing: your dear and beloved spouse will not appreciate what you have done for him. And he may also say: "So what? Couldn't you help me earlier or do it in some other way?" In other words, he will also blame you for your sacrifice. Therefore, help in moderation. Without fanaticism.
Give him a choice
The hardest thing for any woman is when a well-established life suddenly changes/breaks down. And all because of little-understood reasons and actions of a loved one. This issue especially concerns a sudden change of job or even the appearance of a mistress and an impending divorce.
In the first case, the woman will have to take on a double burden of providing the family with everything they need until her husband decides to return to work and start earning a normal income.
In the second option, it will be very difficult physically and mentally to withstand the "blow" in the form of a mistress. But in both options, no matter how hard it is, stay calm and give the man a choice.
Remember: he is not a little boy. If he wants to do this, you won't convince him otherwise. It is much easier to clearly discuss all the options and deadlines. Wants to find a new job? Great! Be kind enough to find a job by the end of this month. Want to live with your mistress? Great! Then give half of the acquired property to your spouse according to the law, and take the rest to your "new love's" house. And provide for her yourself.
Don't take all the blame on yourself
If a man has a hard time going through this psychological stage, then don't even think about taking the blame for any actions! Especially if your spouse reacted normally to this before.
Just calmly clarify who exactly your precious husband is comparing you to. To his mother?
Excellent! Suggest that your husband live with his mother for a month alone. Until he calms down. And during this time you will be able to come to your senses a little and calm down. There is no need to be afraid to suggest this. Because a man will be afraid to return to his mother with a large list of problems.
