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Money in Relationships: Psychological Advice for Women
02.03.2024 06:20
According to statistics, in approximately 50% of cases, couples in love break up for reasons that are somehow related to finances.
Alas, not all representatives of the stronger sex are generous knights, ready to sell their house in order to give their beloved a million scarlet roses.
Many modern men in their relationships with women display frugality that gradually turns into stinginess.
If you only need a partner for money, the problem of male stinginess is solved simply - break up with the greedy gentleman and find a generous one. But the situation becomes more complicated if you love a man and do not want to lose him.
Let's try to figure out whether your boyfriend should really spend money on you, or whether the couple should share the expenses equally.
Where does the problem come from?
Let's start with the fact that in our society there is no clear opinion regarding how much money a man should spend on a woman in order not to appear stingy.
There are many opinions on this matter, and they vary in a fairly wide range. Therefore, each person is free to decide for himself how finances should be distributed between a man and a woman in a romantic relationship or in marriage. The main thing is that the partners' opinions on this matter coincide.
Lovers are often embarrassed to discuss the issue of finances with each other. Instead of discussing it in advance and insuring their relationship against unpleasant surprises, a man and a woman talk about anything but money.
Psychologists believe that this is the main mistake that leads to serious misunderstandings in the future. There is absolutely nothing reprehensible in this topic, so it is advisable to discuss it at least in general terms at the very beginning of communication.
When can you really be offended?
Don't rush to get angry at a man for not taking you to restaurants every day and not giving you expensive gifts.
If he doesn't earn much, he simply can't afford such expenses. It's also okay if your boyfriend believes that all expenses should be split equally - perhaps that's how it was done in his family.
But then the housework (washing, cleaning, cooking) should be divided between the two, so that no one is offended.
Although psychologists believe that in any case, a man should invest more money in a relationship than a woman - that's why he is the stronger sex.
But the worst thing is if your gentleman does something ugly that simply cannot be ignored, for example:
Borrows money from you and "forgets" to pay it back. This is often how gigolos behave, who are used to solving their financial problems at the expense of a woman. It is also possible that the man wants to compensate for the amount he spent on you.
Doesn't spend money on you at all. If a gentleman comes to visit you empty-handed, without gifts, it's reasonable to assume that he doesn't value you and simply doesn't respect you.
Asks you for financial assistance. Even if a man has faced financial difficulties, he has no moral right to take money from a woman whom he has never supported or provided for. At worst, he can take a loan from a bank or borrow from relatives. So it makes sense to think about why he chose you as a creditor.
Some women in love try to turn a blind eye to manifestations of male greed, pettiness and self-interest.
But you shouldn't ignore such things even for the sake of preserving the relationship. Because if money means much more to a man than a relationship with you, you hardly have a chance to be happy with him.
Earlier we talked about how to understand that a man has fallen out of love .
