Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov told what to do if a man does not want children
Not every person is child-oriented at all – neither a man nor a woman.
Of course, typical gender roles are assigned by nature, and a medically healthy woman, even if she is a two-time Nobel laureate Marie Curie, needs to realize her role as a mother.
There are often cases when a woman leaves the family and the children are raised by their father - let's not forget that there are also often "Amazons" who are not averse to living all or some time "for themselves".
Firstly, if someone behaves one way or another, we need to analyze not the inferiority of a specific person in the form of a subjective and unnecessary (because it does not affect the result) assessment, but look for a cause-and-effect relationship.
Because in a civilized relationship that is adequate to the circumstances, there are reasons and grounds for everything, even if they are not “written” on the partner’s forehead.
Correcting another successful person, even if you really want to, is a thankless and, in principle, useless task, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
It is much better to try to understand the reasons and correct yourself. Become indispensable for him, even if it is not easy. Based on the reasons for the phenomena, if they are valid and correct, you can build hypotheses and conclusions.
Moreover, the situation with a man who does not want children is not always a failure. A person changes over time, and also under the influence of circumstances. Therefore, the main question to which one should look for an answer is why (why) "he does not want".
And there can be many answers, including that he doesn't want children from you specifically. Or maybe he doesn't want to burden himself (and you) right now, and the situation may change in the future.
Almost no one likes to be forced. Men especially do not tolerate it from women – because of the idea of gender roles that are still entrenched in certain societies. Thus, the conventional matriarchy in the European style loses its attractive properties in Eastern societies.
What to do without further ado? There are four (or more) possible options.
A) Manipulation and deception on the part of the partner, but in this case it is incorrect to even talk about guarantees that the man will accept the child for long-term support.
Always remember that in human relationships, even an insurance policy does not provide a guarantee.
B) Tolerance of your man's conditional shortcomings - as long as you tolerate them or have no alternative choice. After all, there is something about your chosen one that attracts you, other than his unwillingness to have children. Focus your pleasure on this with the hope of changes in the medium or long term.
C) Explain, set up joint plans and sign an agreement. It is always better to clearly understand each other's aspirations and goals than to use versions and illusions.
D) Pay attention to other men with qualities that you find attractive, parading around you.
