How to Break Off a Destructive Relationship with a Narcissist: Advice from Psychologist Stanislav Sambursky
There have been many films about scary monsters in cinema.
Some do not hide their disgusting nature from the beginning to the end, while others hide behind a beautiful and friendly mask, shocking the audience by the end. In life, the second option is comparable to a narcissist.
Victims of narcissists are well aware that as long as a person brings them at least some benefit, they will be treated more or less appropriately. But as soon as they become useless or dangerous, a terrible monster appears, psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
No one in their right mind wants to give away energy just like that. Mutual exchange is fine, but not with a narcissist. Shutting off the energy valve is an important task for those who want to free themselves from destructive relationships. So how do you do it?
- The first thing you need to start with is to pay attention to your own feelings. It is known that when a goal is achieved, the narcissist's charm reaches its maximum. Control and evaluation of one's actions are lost. This is exactly what you need to get rid of. It is important to monitor your reaction and trust your feelings. If they say: dangerous, don't, this is not normal - stop. The first reaction to his actions is the most correct.
- The second point is to change your own behavior, namely, to react differently to provocations. Shame, guilt, crying, screaming and other unpleasant emotions - that's what he needs. And, of course, all this time he was proud of the work done, constantly reinforcing the result. When he gets indifference and calmness instead of bright emotions, then you will start to "make fun", and quite deservedly so.
- The actions of a narcissist are a continuous projection: what they reject in themselves, they hang on others. Gaslighting comes to the rescue with the aim of blaming their victim for all the troubles. Don't let it get to that point. Learn to recognize manipulation in time.
- Forget about arguments, excuses and the desire to defend your opinion in verbal form. Instead of a storm of emotions, calmly say: "I heard you." Well, and to yourself, you can finish this phrase however you like.
- You can't joke with a narcissist. It is not always possible to recognize the harmful influence in time, much less resist it. When there is no resource to free yourself, do not neglect the help of a specialist.
For a narcissist, losing control over the victim is Armageddon. But what exactly will happen to him is no longer important. What is important is your personality, which will regain contact with reality and breathe life into you with full lungs.
