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Psychologist Anastasia Dementyeva told whether it is worth provoking jealousy
02.08.2023 20:45
Let's first understand what can be considered jealousy.
Psychologist Anastasia Dementyeva explained whether it is worth provoking jealousy.
Jealousy is a complex emotional state, and each of us experiences it at some point in our lives. It can arise in relation to a partner, colleagues, friends, or even in an area of interest.
The question of whether to provoke jealousy is something to consider, especially considering that jealousy can have both positive and negative effects on a relationship and a person.
Most clients come with the problem of living with their jealousy, and there are 2 types: those who are jealous openly and receive negative feedback and those who are jealous secretly, feeling guilty or ashamed of their feelings and not allowing them to be expressed.
In this article, I propose to consider various scenarios where jealousy can arise, how exactly it manifests itself and what consequences it leads to.
Jealousy in romantic relationships
This is a very ambiguous action. And the result can be twofold: on the one hand, it can serve as a way to test the partner for loyalty and strengthen the mutual connection.
For example, in the pre-relationship stage, you might talk about dating someone else to see how your partner reacts and whether they show interest in your feelings.
In this case, jealousy can help strengthen overall closeness.
However, on the other hand, jealousy can lead to dissatisfaction and conflict in relationships. If jealousy is provoked too often or too obviously, it can lead to the destruction of trust and an increase in unpleasant emotions in both partners.
Jealousy in the work environment
In the work environment, jealousy is used as a way to motivate employees.
Healthy competition may be encouraged here, for example by rewarding or encouraging top performers or setting targets to be exceeded.
This can encourage increased productivity and focus on results.
However, inciting employees to strong jealousy or unkind competition can lead to discontent and destroy team spirit.
If employees are constantly competing and pushing boundaries in an attempt to outdo each other, it can create a hostile environment and negatively impact performance.
This causes employees to stop working towards a common goal, which can lead to the collapse of the company.
Jealousy in educational institutions
Here jealousy can act as an incentive for students to achieve better results.
For example, competition programs and olympiads can inspire students to strive for success and improve their knowledge and skills. Yes, this is also a manifestation of jealousy - to compete with each other for the praise and assessment of the mentor.
However, excessive jealousy in students can have negative consequences. When children constantly compare themselves to others and feel that they are not up to par, it can undermine their confidence and self-esteem.
Ultimately, this will affect the academic performance and well-being of students. In a global sense, it can lead to the destruction of the student's personality.
It is interesting to see what the results of scientific studies of jealousy tell us, we will consider below.
Scientific research confirms that jealousy can affect our emotions, behavior, and relationships.
One of the well-known theories, developed by psychologist John Lee, divides jealousy into two types: reactive and preliminary.
Reactive jealousy occurs as a response to a real threat, while anticipatory jealousy occurs without any specific basis.
Research also shows that jealousy can cause an increased release of brain chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline, which affects our emotional state.
In certain quantities they provide motivation (aggression is generally a wonderful resource), but if these hormones are produced in excess, this leads to the opposite effect - overload, emotional instability, apathy.
If you do decide to use jealousy, do it in moderation, it is important to find a balance so as not to harm yourself and others.
In conclusion, I want to say that psychology does not give a clear answer to the question: is it worth causing jealousy? Everything depends on what kind of relationship you want to build with this person. What do you want to feel in this relationship?
To artificially evoke any feelings in a partner is manipulation. And the question remains open: why can't you share your feelings and experiences with your partner openly, without manipulation?
The very act of causing jealousy can have dual results: in some cases it can help strengthen relationships and motivation, but if used immoderately and excessively it can lead to disastrous consequences.
It is important to consider the context and individual characteristics of each person in order to effectively use jealousy and avoid potential problems.
Having a clear understanding of when and how to trigger jealousy can help us create healthy and balanced relationships in our personal and professional lives.
