How Men Show Love: A Note for Women
Love truly knows no age, and its manifestations, although different in form, are still subject to one “general line.”
Like anyone who loves and desires, embellishing one dubious truth with a hundred lies - according to Lope da Vega's "Dog in the Manger", when courting, a man subconsciously tries to show the object of his surging feelings the best qualities, even if he does not fully possess them, and his efforts are often rewarded. This is the first sign - a man changes, transforms, which can be seen literally in his every move; it is difficult not to notice this.
Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov notes that a man’s transformation can be viewed in two aspects: internal changes and external manifestations.
The transformations are noticeable in all stylistic features. He smiles more often, sometimes without reason, but this is not a sign of foolishness at all... He updates his wardrobe. He pays much attention to his appearance. His lifestyle turns to "healthy" and even sporty, because passion for a beloved woman is a very serious motivator and stimulus for personality changes.
Some men, realizing the need to get into an attractive physical shape, even lose 20 kg... Trying to please, he compliments his passion and tries to be witty. That is, he wants to attract attention.
In a man, it is not so much that the natural instinct to fight for a woman awakens, but rather that it is actualized, and in this connection, both jealousy towards a woman increases if another tries to enter into social competition with him, and the instinct of a protector.
You want to protect her from all adversity, literally cover her with an umbrella from storms and bad weather. At this time, his energy increases tenfold, compared to the previous level. This is how the maxim based on the allegory was born - "he will move mountains."
From this, private manifestations of any signs of attention are possible: gifts from his beloved, invitations to cultural events and receptions, buying a yacht or changing the name of an existing one - the name of his beloved. He thinks about her everywhere, her name is sweeter than any word, any sound, unless it is the sound of her voice, her smell, the sight of her eyes and appearance, incomparable to any other.
During this period of the beginning and blossoming of love, he is, as a rule, on her side in all matters, even if she is wrong, he will defend her in front of everyone, and thus will not allow her - already standing on the pedestal of his imagination, to simply fall from it.
The man's internal transformations are less noticeable, but no less profound. Like any nature, taken out of the state of habitual equilibrium (balance), he invents qualities of his beloved, which may not exist, and on this basis - already sufficient for him - he begins to make joint plans. First in his imagination. Then and very soon - in reality, changing his employment, budget, schedule and even preferences.
A joint discussion of plans gives him a new impulse, inspires him, he begins to see other facets of meaning in his life, unusual horizons, but enticing and not worse than they were before... her. Only a completely conventional misogynist who needs to marry for status, or a person who is prudently cooled due to at least age and experience, does not do this.
Internal changes lead to external changes, even more qualitative, in much the same way as in the work of a journalist, the primary news item, having reached the reaction of the target audience – readers and relaxed by them, leads to the creation of a secondary, but no less powerful, news item on the same topic.
Thus, the communication of a loving man can be seen and positioned as waves of harmonious pleasure generated by him and reaching her - eyes, ears, feelings, which rarely does not lead to an adequate response.
The main thing is not to help, the main thing is not to prevent him from showing feelings, and not to act in such a way that he, surprised by her reaction, excessive tests "for feelings" or other dubious behavior, asks himself the "Albanian" question - "why?" This unnecessary question, believe me, kills all his tender feelings.
No one can avoid minor quarrels, but you need to keep your finger on the pulse of the relationship so that bad habits do not become a system. Of course, success is always where both partners work on the relationship.
