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Why do people love some and marry others: a psychologist's commentary
08.03.2023 08:10
Updated: 14.04.2023 13:01
“Why her and not me?” is a question that every woman has asked herself at least once in her life.
When after another date your potential chosen one writes that he is not ready for a serious relationship, mentally add to the phrase "... with you." Why does this happen? What do men want? And what is going on in their heads? Pavel Rakov, an expert of the online publication Belnovosti, a psychologist, coach, and creator of the cult training "In fact, I am smart, but I live like a fool," tells us.
Let's start with the basics. Men may never admit it out loud, but in fact, these are the parameters by which they "sort" every woman in their circle in their heads:
- Woman-lover: for entertainment and carnal pleasures;
- Woman-wife: decent, not as uninhibited as a mistress;
- A woman-friend, with whom you can communicate as with a partner, even achieve results together, but nothing more. The value of such a woman for a man lies in the benefit.
If the third type is more or less clear - the woman is not to the man's taste, but at the same time she is smart and educated, and friendship with her can be beneficial - then the first and second types are worth dwelling on in more detail.
Mistress VS Wife: Which Category Do You Fall Into?
There are many reasons why men divide women into mistresses and potential wives. One of the main ones is sexuality.
Some men are ready to realize their sexual fantasies with girls of more easy virtue.
As a rule, such women already have some life experience: they have been on dates, communicated and met with a large number of men. But this is precisely what men do not like when choosing a partner for family life. Because the foundation of the family is a faithful girl. And if, in their opinion, she has a long track record, then men are not satisfied with this. Most men are fixated on this.
If a woman is absolutely uninhibited in bed, she won't be taken as a wife?
Women want a man to provide for her alone, not cheat on her, and to belong to her alone. In essence, men want the same thing. But men express it in a more acute form. That's why they watch how a woman communicates with other men, how she flirts.
If she is absolutely relaxed in communication with the opposite sex and, especially, in bed, he may be completely satisfied with this at the entertainment stage, but it is precisely such women that are not married.
Why does this happen?
The first impression you make is very important. If a woman presents herself as easy on the first date, it will be difficult for a man to change his mind about her and decide to reclassify her in his own head.
If a girl quickly “gave herself up” at the stage of getting to know each other on the first date, and then it turns out that she has a lot of sexual experience, then a man will have fun, be interested and happy with such a girl, but he will perceive her as a woman not for marriage and love, but for entertainment, including sexual entertainment.
