More and more often people hear the phrase “toxic person”. And how could it be otherwise, if toxic behavior is found everywhere: on the street, in transport, at work and even at home. The latter is the worst to bear.
While you can distance yourself from other people or not communicate with them at all, things are different with relatives.
Aggression, the position of a victim, importunity, excessive care, envy – they destabilize, and it is difficult to escape from this, says business psychologist and clinical psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
In addition to the emerging feeling of guilt, you can hear numerous reproaches about yourself from other family members. As a psychologist, I understand: it is difficult to be in such a situation, but there is a way out. It lies in adherence to special rules and forms of interaction with such people.
You can protect yourself from the negative influence of toxic relatives in the following way:
Reflection will help here. In an honest conversation with yourself, you will find out why certain words cause strong emotions. Maybe it is a matter of fears or complexes?
When a person gives in to emotions, he loses control over himself and cannot look at many things adequately. A rational approach helps to clearly assess the situation, helps to understand motives and predict further actions.
It is worth honestly admitting that it is unpleasant to be in such company, and that such behavior is beyond the bounds of reason.
It is important to persistently, but in a calm conversation, explain to loved ones that they cannot cross this or that line.
An unpleasant dialogue drains resources. Therefore, it is important to think about yourself and not worry that the interlocutor will be offended.
It involves refusing to criticize and sort things out. It's not worth hinting at toxicity, just like it's not worth getting emotionally close.
Toxic people love to manipulate. To do this, they need an information base. They extract the main points from what they hear and immediately turn the victim into a puppet.
If a person has firmly decided to build safe communication with relatives, then that is how it should be. There is no need to change the rules, react to manipulation, open boundaries, etc.
Positive and short answers are discouraging. As a result, a boring relative becomes an uninteresting catch.
When the "toxic" runs to "bite", you can transfer his thoughts to other people.
To fall in the eyes of such relatives is not the worst thing in life. In this case, a bold refusal is only encouraged.
