Every parent knows how difficult it is to stay calm when a child is misbehaving, annoying, or doing stupid things.
At such moments it is easy to give in to emotions and say something offensive.
But no matter how strong the quarrel, in its heat one must not forget that some phrases in communication with a child are unacceptable - the wound inflicted by words can be very deep.
Some parents believe that shame is an effective method of punishment, but it is difficult to agree with this. Shame prevents children from developing new skills and prevents them from learning to make decisions on their own.
Shame seems to whisper, “You are stupid, you are useless, you are worse than everyone else.” It humiliates the child and does not contribute to the development of a sense of responsibility.
No one argues with the fact that parents are the same people as everyone else, and sometimes they simply do not have the strength to continue communicating with their child.
But if you say this phrase, your children will start to feel isolated and your relationship will ultimately deteriorate even more.
The fact is that a child's well-being is directly linked to his parents, and if a significant adult says that he is withdrawing, the child perceives this as a signal that he has been abandoned, which is shocking and destroys trust, causing great pain.
This thought may arise as a result of strong negative emotions, but it is important to remember that it is temporary.
Try to control yourself and not say anything out loud. If the child thinks that he has nothing left to lose, including your mutual affection, the consequences will not be the most pleasant.