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Three Phrases Parents Should Never Say to Their Sons
01.04.2023 06:50
Updated: 15.04.2023 00:40
Recently, women have increasingly been accusing men of infantilism.
“There are no more real men” - these are the words that can often be heard today from representatives of the fair sex of all ages.
If you have a son growing up and you want him to grow up to be a real man, then under no circumstances tell him the following:
As a boy (man) you should (or shouldn't)...
Everyone knows that boys don't cry and men don't dance. Boys should love sports and lifting weights. But when talking to a child (or anyone else for that matter), you shouldn't use the word "should" and especially not tie it to a person's gender.
We know that saying "You must" is easier and faster than explaining to a child that mom, for example, is tired and she simply needs to be pitied and helped as a human being. Or explaining that society is structured in such a way that a crying boy causes laughter or contempt, and it is better not to show your tears to strangers.
That is, the child is allowed to do everything, but it is explained for what reasons it is better to act in such and such a way.
Girls need to give in
If you are going to give up something to someone, then only your seat on public transport, and not just to girls, but to anyone who finds it more difficult to stand than your child. Such things are usually not explained to a child verbally, but are shown in a specific situation by personal example.
And if we are talking about some toy or a new pair of shoes that the children did not share between themselves, then teaching the child to negotiate is the ideal option.
Offer children compromise options with toys (someone plays first, but the second one plays longer). At the same time, again, no attachments to gender type, because you need to be able to negotiate with girls just like with boys, adults, old people, animals.
Girls should not be offended
So, is it okay for everyone else? And if the girl is offended by the refusal to go for walks together under the moon, then what to do?
Agree? And what if a woman is offended because a man was chosen for some position, and she was not noticed? Refuse the position in favor of the touchy colleague?
In this situation, again, the child needs to be explained the situation in each specific case. You can't hit anyone, not just girls. Pulling pigtails is not good, even if you really want to attract her attention, because such an action leads to painful sensations and a bad mood.
All people need to be treated with care, thinking about their feelings, choosing the words for a correct refusal.
But at the same time, we must understand that you can’t please everyone and there will always be someone whose interests conflict with our interests.
