There are phrases that should not be said to children in moments of the strongest irritation and righteous anger.
The resentment will pass, the anger will go away, but words spoken in the heat of the moment can destroy the foundation of the relationship between parents and children.
This phrase hits self-esteem, the child gets a feeling of uselessness. Children will think that these words were said seriously, so the consequences can be unpredictable.
It is difficult for them to understand that their parents do not really think this way, and that the accidentally dropped phrase is the result of anger, disappointment and fatigue.
Many children have a fear of being abandoned. Some worry about it less, some more, and for some it is the main phobia. Saying this phrase only intensifies the existing fear and negatively affects the child's psyche.
If a child hears these words very often, then a foundation of learned helplessness is formed in his mind. Children lose motivation to do anything, apathy and laziness arise. Over time, such a child will stop trying because of the certainty that he will not succeed anyway.
By saying this phrase, parents hope to set a benchmark for their child – someone to look up to. But in reality, the result is different.
Firstly, the child's self-esteem decreases, an inferiority complex arises. Secondly, envy or even hatred towards the ideal person appears.
When the relationship between parents goes downhill, the children are in the line of fire. Circumstances boil down to the fact that they have to choose the side of the father or the mother. Each parent tries to appease the child and literally forces the child to say nasty things about the father or mother.