He yells, and you make excuses: "He's just tired." She checks your phone, and you think: "That means she cares about me." And no one wants to admit the main thing.
Toxic relationships are like slow poison - you don't notice how you're losing yourself until you wake up as a shadow.
But how can you tell the difference between ordinary quarrels and a dangerous game where you are the only one losing?
The first warning sign is guilt.
If after every conversation you feel like you are “too emotional,” “ungrateful,” or “selfish,” this is manipulation.
Healthy partners solve problems rather than shift responsibility.
The second sign is isolation.
Are you criticized for communicating with friends? Are they saying that "no one but me will understand you"? This is not care, but control.
The Most Dangerous Myth About Toxic Relationships
"He/she will change if I tolerate it." But abusers don't change - they adapt. Today you forgive an insult, tomorrow - a blow, the day after tomorrow - betrayal.
There is only one way to break this cycle - to leave. Yes, it is scary. Yes, you will doubt.
But ask yourself: are you prepared to regret in 10 years that you didn’t do this now?
Toxicity often disguises itself as "passionate love"
For example, jealousy is passed off as “strong affection,” and humiliation as “the desire to help become better.”
But true love does not require sacrificing your dignity.
If your partner regularly violates your boundaries (reads your messages, forbids you to wear certain clothes, jokes about your weaknesses), this is not a mistake - it is a pattern.
How to prepare for departure
Start small: Reconnect with those you pushed away because of the relationship. Put money aside, even small amounts.
Make a plan: where to go, who to call in a critical moment.
If you feel that the danger is real, do not hesitate to contact crisis centers.
Your life is more valuable than any promises and illusions.
And if you still love this person
Love does not require enduring pain. Imagine if your best friend told you about such a relationship. What advice would you give him?
Sometimes you have to be that friend to yourself. And remember: leaving is not a defeat. It is the courage to choose yourself.
Author: Igor Zur