He stopped noticing her until she used a CIA technique called "Mirror of the Soul." A month later, he proposed again.
“This is not manipulation,” says former FBI agent Jack Schaefer in his book Turn on the Charm. “This is the science of attention that intelligence agencies have been using for decades.”
The secret is simple: ask questions that make your partner talk about themselves.
A Harvard Business Review study found that people feel in love when they talk 70% of the time.
Example: Instead of “How was your day?” ask: “What thought surprised you today?”
Mirror technique . Repeat the last 3 words of your partner's phrase.
He: "I'm tired of this project."
You: "From this project?"
This provokes him to open up more deeply. “When my wife repeated my words, I felt heard for the first time in years,” writes a Quora user.
But the main thing is pauses.
CIA agents know that silence after a question makes a person tell the truth. Try this: ask "What do you dream about?" and then shut up.
According to the Journal of Communication , 80% of people will fill a pause with revelations.
Additional methods
"Random" vulnerability: Share your fear ("I'm afraid of getting old") to provoke your partner to open up.
The 70/30 Method: Talk about him 70% of the time, talk about yourself 30%. This creates the illusion of being a perfect listener ( Psychology Today ).
However, if you overdo it, your partner will feel the falseness, especially if you start to “mirror” every word.
