According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65% of people use jealousy as a tool to reignite passion.
But psychologist Robert Leahy warns: "It's playing with fire. Jealousy can save a relationship or burn it to the ground."
Why does it work?
Jealousy activates an ancient instinct - the fear of loss.
Neuroscientist Dr Helen Fisher explains: "When we feel threatened by competition, the brain releases adrenaline and dopamine. This combination creates the illusion of falling in love all over again."
An experiment at the University of California confirmed that couples who experienced “moderate” jealousy were 40% more likely to report a surge of passion.
But there's a line between "healthy" jealousy and toxicity. Psychotherapist Emily Nagoski writes: "If your partner starts checking your phone or making a scene, you've crossed the line."
Here are some dangerous methods that work.
"A chance find."
"Accidentally" leave a message from a fan open (it can be staged).
Example: “I wrote myself an anonymous letter of compliments and left it on the table,” Olga shares in her blog Desperate Advice. “My husband found it and arranged a romantic dinner that same night.” “Social Triangle 2.0”
Post stories on social media with friends of the opposite sex, but add cryptic captions: "Thanks for yesterday."
A study by the University of Valencia showed that such posts are three times more likely to cause jealousy than explicit photos.
Indirect compliment + detail"
Mention to your partner: “At work today, a coworker said I’m great at making jokes… like you used to.” Coach Matthew Hussey explains, “This combination of a compliment from someone else and a reminder of your past intimate moments hits the spot.”
"Disappearance"
Cancel plans at the last minute by saying, "I have urgent matters to attend to." Don't explain where you're going.
According to the Journal of Social Psychology , 58% of partners who experience this behavior begin to take initiative in the relationship.
How not to cross the line
The 48-hour rule: Don't provoke more often than once every two weeks.
Stop word. Agree in advance: if your partner says “enough,” the game stops.
Honesty after the fact. After the jab, explain, “I did it because I missed our emotions.”
As psychologist John Gottman writes: "Jealousy is a symptom, not a cure. If you're playing these games, it means the root of the problem is deeper."
