Imagine that your child is a sprout that you grow in a pot. You water it, put it in the sun, but if one day you overdo it with water or forget about the light, it will begin to wither.
The same is true in parenting: even seemingly innocent actions can subtly undermine a child’s confidence, independence, or emotional health.
Many parents sincerely want to give their children the best, but sometimes they repeat patterns learned in childhood or follow myths about “correct” upbringing.
Here are five common mistakes that are like weeds that prevent children from growing up strong and happy.
The first mistake is overprotection. Parents who control their child's every step deprive him of the opportunity to learn how to make decisions and cope with difficulties.
"Don't run - you'll fall!", "I'll do it myself, you can't" - these phrases create a feeling in the child that the world is dangerous, and he himself is helpless. Growing up, such children often suffer from anxiety and are not ready for independent life.
The second trap is comparison with others. “Look how well Masha studies!” – this seems to motivate, but in reality the child feels that he is not appreciated for who he is.
Constant comparison kills self-esteem and creates a habit of competing even where cooperation is needed.
The third mistake is ignoring emotions. When parents say, “Don’t cry, it’s nothing,” or “Boys aren’t afraid,” they are sending the message that the child’s feelings are not important.
Over time, children stop trusting their experiences and learn to suppress them, which can lead to psychosomatic problems.
The fourth mistake is punishment instead of explanation. Shouting, prohibitions without explanation or physical methods do not teach a child to understand the consequences of his actions.
They only cause fear, resentment and a desire to deceive in order to avoid punishment.
And finally, the fifth mistake is sacrifice. Parents who constantly repeat, “I have dedicated my whole life to you,” unconsciously put a burden of guilt on the child.
He begins to think that he must live up to expectations in order to "justify the sacrifices." This prevents him from building his own life, rather than living for approval.
How to avoid this? Start small: give your child choices (for example, what to wear or how to spend the weekend), praise efforts rather than results, and always explain why certain actions are unacceptable.
Remember: your goal is not to raise a perfect person, but to help him become himself.
