Psychologist tells how to get rid of the excellent student syndrome
Can you fire someone for doing their job? Of course! It's unfair, you might say, but it all depends on the situation.
When a person works for the good of the company and sacrifices himself for this, dismissal is inhumane. But when efforts are transformed into a tool for praise and personal gain, things take a different turn. Psychologist Stanislav Sambursky will tell readers of the online publication Belnovosti about the "straight A student syndrome".
Let's take the story of one woman as an example. Let's say it's Masha. She has two children and a wonderful husband. She loves her job madly and runs to it five days a week with a joyful desire to once again run into praise from her boss. It's worth noting that she is not a perfect worker. This manifests itself in periodic shortcomings and inattention. But the boss loves her for her initiative, speed and willingness to stay late. He sets her up as an example for the team and wants everyone to work like Masha.
The fairy tale is not eternal, and beloved Ivan Ivanovich retires. His place is taken by the mature and no less experienced San Sanych. Masha is upset, but does not lose hope of standing out in front of him: she comes earlier, leaves later, agrees at meetings and brings reports ahead of schedule.
But instead of praise, she is scolded. San Sanych sees her mistakes and does not forgive them. He says in plain text that she needs to work on quality, not speed. Let the report be submitted on the last day, but without errors. Masha is upset, angry and tries with all her might to correct the situation. Her reputation is at risk: now she is "not the best". The problems of her husband and children fade into the background. But all efforts are in vain. Masha was asked to write of her own free will.
She asked: "Why? For what? I work more than the others!" To which San Sanych replied: "Exactly for this. Your diligence let you down. You did not work for the good of the company. You wanted only one thing - my praise and recognition of colleagues. And I do not need this. My employees must be responsible and not think about personal gain."
The straight-A syndrome is characterized by the desire to be better than everyone else, to become an object of envy and imitation. Praise fuels a person for further "feats". This is an addiction that prevents one from living and working for one's own pleasure, from experiencing joy from little things and what is truly valuable.
Masha worked for approval and was like a small child who does everything sloppily to get candy faster. It is important to realize that praise should not be an end in itself. It is only an addition to the main actions.
Living for praise is hard. Getting rid of the straight-A syndrome is not easy, and therapy is the best helper.
