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Psychologist Vyacheslav Shcherbakov told how to improve your mood
15.06.2023 15:06
Shopping, alcohol, dating, sports, meditation, gratitude journaling. The Internet and even close friends offer many options, but not all of them work in the long run. And some are harmful in both the short and long term.
Vyacheslav Shcherbakov, a psychologist and game trainer at the Jewish Museum's Tolerance Center , listed healthy and effective ways to cheer yourself up.
Life is full of troubles. It is quite natural to experience moments when we feel depressed or lack motivation. Firstly, you can’t scold yourself for it. Secondly, there is no need to put on a mask of pleasure and joy every time you are sad. Even if others appreciate your stoic approach to difficulties, you risk earning yourself psychological problems.
No admiring smile and phrase “how do you always manage to be positive” are worth an upset nervous system.
To begin with, it is important to define the process itself more correctly.
To lift your spirits does NOT mean:
- Close your eyes to the situation in any way (from the belief “there is nothing, I’m in the house” to alcohol).
- Put on a mask of well-being.
- Ignore your emotions.
- Comparing yourself to someone who is “even worse off.”
- Isolate yourself and wait it out.
- Using shopping, food and other situational pleasures as a way to “drown out” the problem.
Let's imagine a situation: you had a fight with a colleague at work who constantly dumps her part of the work on you. You, gritting your teeth and feeling sorry for yourself, but feeling proud of your indispensability, fulfilled the request.
To reward yourself after work, you go to a cosmetics store and buy a new lipstick. This evening you are happy with your reward. Your brain is also happy, because endorphins have been released. But tomorrow morning you will be just as unpleasant going to work, because there is an "irritant" waiting there, and you will continue to scold yourself for being compliant and soft.
Food, entertainment, shopping - this is a way to immediately satisfy the lack of positive emotions, but in the long term, alas, it is an absolutely useless option. Moreover, it is fraught with guilt, health problems and so-called "financial stress".
Satisfaction of needs is the basis necessary for the effective functioning of the psyche, not a luxury. Proper sleep, varied nutrition, sports - all this is directly related to your emotional, and therefore physical well-being.
Working ways to lift your mood
Method 1. Physical activity
The most popular and at the same time rarely used recommendation. When your soul hurts, the idea of making your back hurt doesn't seem sensible. But our body works according to its own laws, based on hormones.
If bouts of sadness and depressive moods persist for a long time, consult a doctor: a therapist and an endocrinologist.
Physical activity releases endorphins, the natural chemicals your brain needs to feel good. Endorphins can give you an almost instant mood boost. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a yoga class, a weekend marathon, or dancing in a private room, find an activity that fits your interests and schedule. You don’t have to buy a gym membership, just do what you can do right now.
Method 2. Favorite people
It's possible that your mood has dropped because of these loved ones. But there's no mistake here. Humans are social creatures, and maintaining relationships plays an important role in our emotional well-being.
Talk to friends or family members, write a message, send a funny picture, make a video call. Not just close people, but inspiring ones will do - if there is no opportunity to have a pleasant chat with friends, browse the social networks of a blogger who makes you laugh, reread the letters of an author whose thoughts make you happy.
Sharing your feelings and experiences with someone you trust can provide comfort, support, and a fresh perspective. Feeling like you belong to a group is directly related to your level of happiness.
Method 3. Favorite things to do
In a routine, it’s hard to notice what actually brings you pleasure. It seems like there’s nothing, or more precisely, there’s absolutely no time for this “favorite”. If your goal is to lift your mood in order to be more productive, efficient, and live better (and longer), then you’ll have to find the time. Imagine this as another task in your diary: doing what you love.
It could be drawing, gardening, reading, playing a musical instrument, building cities and computer strategy games, recording funny videos (you don't even have to upload them), searching for interesting things at flea markets. Literally anything.
By expressing ourselves in something other than work, family matters and responsibilities, we accumulate the energy we need to combat stress.
Method 4. Taking care of yourself
As we said at the beginning, covering basic needs is the basis of working on emotions. Taking care of yourself is crucial to keeping the body in a state of “working and working well.”
Give preference to activities that promote healthy relaxation and calm. The recipe will be different for everyone: bubble bath, meditation, deep breathing, massage, two hours without a phone with your favorite book.
Instead of the fifth point, I suggest we take a closer look at what does NOT apply to ways to improve your mood and, on the contrary, only worsens it.
Once again. How NOT to cheer yourself up
- Ignoring feelings: Avoiding and suppressing emotions leads to illness in the long run by preventing you from addressing the underlying causes of your unhappiness.
- External sources of happiness: Placing all your hopes on external factors such as material goods, achievements, or the approval of others is not a reliable path. Although external sources can help release endorphins, it is the feelings of satisfaction and self-acceptance that are important to cultivate.
- Alcohol: firstly, it is ineffective (once the effect wears off, the brain will feel even worse, since the serotonin system is damaged), secondly, it has serious negative consequences.
- Comparing yourself to others: Damages your self-esteem and mood. It’s important to remember that social media often presents a distorted and idealized version of reality. By focusing on the achievements or appearance of others, we can undermine our sense of self-worth and life satisfaction.
- Isolation: While it’s important to have moments of solitude and self-reflection, isolation for long periods of time exacerbates negative emotions. Human connections and social support are vital to emotional well-being, so make an effort to reach out to loved ones and engage in shared activities.
- “Achievers” at the expense of health: neglecting sleep, nutrition and exercise for the sake of work will have a detrimental effect on your mood and well-being, even if you get a bonus and a million likes on social media.
The ability to lift your mood and accumulate resources for further movement is a skill, not a talent. Develop it daily, maintaining your emotions and body in a healthy state.
