The term "toxic" has a lot of definitions. They all boil down to one thing - it is a person who manipulates people and creates an unhealthy environment around him.
If we talk about a toxic boss, then this concept is applicable to someone who turns the life of the entire team into hell, and not just one individual employee, says business psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
This raises the question: how to get along with a toxic boss? As a psychologist, I would like to point out that it is impossible to change the situation radically, but it is quite possible to change your attitude towards it.
First, it should be clarified: a boss is not a friend or a brother. He is the one who follows the company's concept, acts for its benefit and does not indulge the whims of employees. His functions include: demanding, managing and improving indicators.
Signs of a toxic boss
1. Doesn't hold back emotions
Every morning, employees are in a panic. No one knows what mood they will come to the office with. Toxic managers bring the negativity they received from their close circle to work, thereby taking it out on innocent subordinates.
2. Practises a cult of personality
He grovels before his superiors and rises to the skies before his subordinates. His word is truth. The decision is impeccable and cannot be appealed.
3. Doesn't give clear instructions
A toxic boss doesn't give clear instructions. People don't have telepathy, so they have to listen to reproaches addressed to them and redo the work many times.
4. Humiliates and ridicules
In the process of work, it is permissible to criticize its results, but in no case should you resort to insulting the employee's personality. A toxic boss knows this.
5. Intimidates and blackmails
Often these managers force you to carry out personal assignments and threaten you with dismissal if you refuse. They threaten you with the impossibility of getting a similar position in other companies.
6. Harassing
Knowing their power, toxic bosses often resort to harassment. This includes dirty jokes, "awkward" and direct touching, innuendo, etc.
7. Discriminates
The manager openly demonstrates hostility towards a certain group of people, department, race, residents of other cities, etc.
8. Devalues
Successes at work are ridiculed and commented on with the phrase: "Even a monkey could handle that." If a mistake is made, one must be prepared for even more rude insults.
9. Appropriates other people's achievements
If employees perform poorly, it is their fault. If employees perform well, it is the manager's fault.
What to do when your boss is toxic
In this case, there are only two options: quit or continue to endure. Sometimes people are tempted to fix the situation, to influence the toxic boss in order to correct him.
Such attempts lead to nothing, but only add new wounds and deplete resources. Proving something to someone is a useless and thankless task. The most reasonable thing is to leave.
The obstacles to dismissal are: a difficult financial situation, a shortage of open vacancies, etc. In this case, all that remains is to put on a bulletproof vest, which will save you from the inexhaustible poison.
Ways to survive under the yoke of toxicity
1. Focus on work
The boss is the moderator of the work process. Trying to please him is not your goal. The main thing is experience and career growth. Why he is like this is not your problem.
2. Become perfect
Fair criticism is a tool of a toxic boss. Yes, he will always find a way to find fault with the most perfect report, but then it will be much easier to take the blow.
3. Keep communication to a minimum
It is wiser to keep communication to a minimum: only within the framework of work and during working hours. In a team, there is no need to gossip, talk about your personal life, criticize and get involved in questionable situations - all this is a feeding trough for a toxic manager.
4. Mark the boundaries
Criticism, assessments, unsolicited advice, etc. – all this is so beloved by the boss. Perhaps he does not even realize that his behavior is unhealthy. Therefore, without aggression, it is worthwhile to define clear boundaries of what is permitted. For example, “My personal life is my business. I would be grateful if we did not discuss it anymore.”
5. Abstract yourself
A toxic work environment leaves its mark on the behavior of employees. Often they bring negativity home and take it out on their loved ones. Understand that everything your boss says does not apply to you. It is difficult to abstract yourself, but possible. The main thing to remember is that you are okay.
6. "Psychological Aikido"
The point of this method is to make the boss's abstract statement more specific with a question. For example:
- You are a useless worker!
- What do you mean?
- You didn't make the report!
When you receive a specific accusation, it will be easier to agree with the criticism. As a result, the degree of aggression will decrease.
7. Contact the HR department
The HR department is responsible not only for hiring employees, but also for maintaining a healthy microclimate in the team. When patience is running out, there is an opportunity to contact these specialists and explain the situation. If there is no option to transfer to another department or division, then dismissal is far from a stupid decision.
8. Quit
More precisely, fire the manager from your life. Leaving a company where there is a toxic boss and none of the measures from the list above work is not a loss, but a reasonable decision. You fire the toxic boss from your life.
A toxic boss keeps all employees stressed. Stress has a detrimental effect on physical and mental health, so staying under his wing for a long time is not worth it. Try to save up money, create a safety net, and quit with a clear conscience. And when you meet in the future, do not say hello, but rather pretend that you do not recognize him - toxic bosses shudder from this, even if they try to keep a straight face.
