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A man must guarantee a woman three things: a psychologist revealed the secret of a happy family
24.08.2023 20:57
The topic of intra-family roles has been quite popular lately. Some want male dominance, others - female, some advocate equality.
A happy marriage is built on agreements that suit everyone. Therefore, it does not matter what the rules are in the family, the main thing is that the spouses are happy, says psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
Coming to these agreements is not so easy. How to find a compromise when you don’t know what you want more: to obey or to lead? It is especially difficult to talk about this now – in the age of women’s “rebellion”. Based on practice, I can say with confidence that it doesn’t matter what time you live in. History has shown that in order to be happy, a man must guarantee his family only three things. What exactly are they? Let’s look at them now.
Safety
The world is arranged in such a way that a woman gives birth to children, and a man creates the necessary conditions for this. A happy family is one in which the husband is responsible for safety. No one wants to give birth and raise children under stress. Fighting off conventional enemies is the role of a husband and father. Of course, now is a different time, but it also conceals many dangers and surprises.
Perhaps strong, self-confident women will say that they can handle any danger and problems themselves. This is true, but a man is initially stronger. While he protects, a woman does not waste her nerves, does not worry about tomorrow and calmly raises children.
Safety is a basic need. When choosing a partner, you must pay attention to this. When a woman makes a thoughtful choice, this is the key to success, when in the heat of passion - Russian roulette.
Satiety
Initially, a man is a breadwinner, a woman is a keeper of the family hearth. Previously, no one had any doubts about this. In the 21st century, both spouses are breadwinners. But it is important to clarify here: if a woman works, this does not relieve her of her responsibility to feed her husband. Ideally, a man should not sit on his wife's neck and become a housewife.
It is his responsibility not to provide the family with luxury, but with such an income that no one will go hungry. The standard picture of all times and peoples is when the head of the house comes home from work in the evening, the wife has laid the table for dinner, and the children stand at attention. He eats his fill, and the rest - what is left. Nowadays, a happy marriage cannot be built on this: everyone must be well-fed. The one who is stronger feeds. If the husband does not fulfill this responsibility, then the wife has no reason to carry the extra burden.
Future
The previous two points concerned the present. The third will be about guarantees of a bright future. Yes, it is changeable, and plans sometimes may not come true, but living in a state of uncertainty about tomorrow is quite sad.
Even before entering into marriage, it is important for a woman to realize and be confident that:
- she will not be abandoned;
- she will be protected;
- she will calmly go on maternity leave;
- he will not shift his responsibilities onto her.
In the modern world, these banal but well-known postulates are for some reason rejected by many. People have begun to live by the principle "if you don't like it, leave." There is no talk of guarantees at all.
Marriage is a single mechanism. If something stops functioning normally, everything breaks. That is why it is so important to be one whole, to distribute and fulfill your responsibilities correctly. Without unity, there is no future. There is also no future when a woman is responsible for the above-mentioned responsibilities.
