Psychologist Andrey Kashkarov told how to preserve feelings
Maintaining feelings is the most important task for long-term and stable relationships in the family and in a couple.
In order for feelings to last a long time, it is advisable to renew them, decorating them with new impressions and paying close attention to the desires, possibilities and aspirations of the partner.
Renewal of positive impressions is possible in principle, says psychologist Andrey Kashkarov . And the most important thing in this regard is to change or adjust your own behavior towards attentiveness to the partner's desires, and not to your own narcissism.
If this seems strange or incomprehensible to someone, let us remember who has at least recently sincerely given up their ambitions and dedicated at least one day to their partner - giving time, energy and material assets. Without thinking about anything else.
If there are not many of them, then I recommend trying it sometime, and you will be surprised that you will get great pleasure from “giving” and not just “receiving”.
This is one of the possible examples of how one can maintain feelings at a high level of affection for a long time, and it quickly becomes mutual, because a person loves when he is loved.
As for other possible methods, almost everyone knows about the banal and template ones: regular gifts, romantic meetings and creating the appropriate atmosphere, courtesy (opening the door for a lady and letting her go first), new countries, places, restaurants (joint travel and actions) like offering a hand when getting off the transport, protecting the peace of the partner in all available ways, thereby becoming indispensable (oops).
In summing up the topic, we can note and recall the main methods and examples considered. First of all, non-nominal attentiveness to the partner's requests to the detriment of one's own interests. This is clearly visible, and if it happens sincerely, it is interpreted correctly by the partner and strengthens the relationship.
Then the creation of an irreplaceable image, that is, a habit of comprehensively supporting behavior. And the third of many possible ones is not a one-time, but a regular practice of such actions, that is, repetition and reinforcement of feelings.
The main thing is to do all this sincerely, with desire and to be together with the object of your feelings - always if possible, never betraying his (her) secrets and interests, refusing to criticize.
Thus, high feelings can be preserved. But in its pure form, such an "ideal" does not exist, since a person is essentially a vessel of very contradictory thoughts and their derivatives - behavior: he loves to argue, criticize, change for some reason not himself, but another (partner).
This is extremely harmful to long-term feelings. However, we are not deprived of the opportunity to at least sometimes strive for the examples and recommendations offered above.
