Content
Emotional Perfectionism: What It Is and How to Get Rid of It
15.10.2024 08:41
As you know, perfectionists are people who have high demands on how they look, how they behave and how they do their work.
The same can be said about the emotional perfectionist, only this time the focus is on how he feels.
The term was coined by psychologist Annie Hickox, who proposed it in 2016.
From a specialist’s point of view, emotional perfectionism appears when a person experiences emotions about emotions, that is, when he suppresses all those feelings that, in his opinion, are unworthy.
People with this type of thinking often repeat to themselves, “I shouldn’t do this” or “I shouldn’t be angry.”
Why Emotional Perfectionism Occurs
Its source is the discomfort we experience due to other people’s negative emotions.
There are quite a few reasons for the emergence of emotional perfectionism: people can be born with high demands on themselves or the world around them, or they can acquire this quality as a result of upbringing or the influence of the cultural environment.
Sometimes this type of perfectionism arises from reflexes. In particular, we are talking about a protective reflex, when a person wants at all costs to protect loved ones from experiences caused by anger or sadness.
How to Get Rid of Emotional Perfectionism
To overcome this quality, you should remember that emotions are not divided into good or bad - you need to try to become emotionally “tolerant”.
Practice mindfulness: when you feel an emotion, analyze what is behind it, what it tells you.
Talk openly about your feelings and needs, try to develop emotional flexibility, let go of the desire to control everything and learn from negative emotions.
And, of course, if there is such a need, seek help from loved ones or a specialist.
