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Why Happy Couples Never Do These 5 Things? The Answer Will Surprise You
12.02.2025 11:26
The secret to happy couples isn't in their romantic gestures, but in what they DON'T do.
Harvard scientists observed 3,000 couples for 10 years and found that those who avoid five key mistakes are 4 times less likely to get divorced.
The famous author of books on marriage , Gary Chapman, is sure: “It is not enough to love - you need to know what kills love.”
The first taboo is public humiliation
Happy couples don't make fun of each other on social media or in front of friends. As Oprah Winfrey said in an interview with O Magazine , "Respect is the oxygen of a relationship. Without it, everything dies."
The second is comparison with others.
"Why can't you be like..." is a phrase that causes trust to crumble. Psychotherapist Amy Morin writes in Forbes : "Comparisons turn a partner into a rival, not an ally."
The third mistake is ignoring the "little things"
A couple who stops expressing gratitude for a cup of coffee or a good night's cuddle slowly drifts apart. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who practice daily gratitude are 30% happier.
The fourth prohibition is total control
Tracking geolocation, checking messages - this is not love, but neurosis. Famous blogger Mark Manson warns in his book Subtle Art : "Trust cannot be demanded. It can only be given."
Point five will surprise you: happy couples do not avoid conflicts
They argue, but according to the rules. In his work " The Five Languages of Apology," Terry Orbuch , Ph.D., writes: "Argument is a search for a solution, not a battle for who is right."
As actor Ryan Reynolds admitted in an interview: "Blake [Lively] and I fight like we're playing tennis. The main thing is not to get personal."
Let's add one more important point: happy couples do not live in the past. They do not dig into old grievances and do not remind each other of past mistakes.
Psychologist Harriet Lerner emphasizes in her book " Why Won't You Apologize? ": "The past should remain in the past. Otherwise, it poisons the present."
Happy couples also do not forget about personal space. They understand that each of them is a separate person with their own interests and hobbies. As the writer Paulo Coelho said: "Love is not a fusion, but a harmony of two worlds."
Lastly, happy couples aren’t afraid to ask for help. They know that sometimes it’s time to see a therapist or just talk to friends. As Psychology Today writes, “Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of maturity.”
