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Is it possible to survive with an abuser: fix your partner or change yourself
05.06.2024 19:07
It is no secret that, when in a relationship with an abuser, the victim is often in no hurry to admit that the situation is hopeless.
Unrealizable hopes appear, self-esteem suffers, quality of life declines. One question remains – what to do with all this.
Fix the abuser?
Experts unanimously say that this is impossible, so the popular excuses among friends are just another attempt to mislead oneself.
The following types of consolation are most often used.
1. "He will understand and change." But if a person is not able to empathize and put himself in another's place, then he will understand and change all his life, including the whole life of his victim.
2. "Nobody loved him - you have to understand that." But the first person you need to feel sorry for in such a situation is yourself.
3. And another empty option is to seek help from a family psychologist. Without words.
Simply because it is unlikely to bear any fruit.
Often, the abuser pretends to be a victim during the appointment, and then, when it’s all over, continues to devalue everything you’ve done for him.
What should we do?
The only correct option is to go to see a psychologist yourself, who will help the victim of an unhealthy relationship cope with their fears and start building their life anew.
Previously, we talked about what to do if you are afraid of relationships .
